Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
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Top comments
peete182 0
Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on
leftyy 0
then there would be nothing LEFT
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Comments (180)
mike133 2
She a psycho bitch?
sierralovesyou 0
Because all girls love being slapped eith porkchops... You should've seen that coming.
Serafie 0
Frankly you're kind of a ******* idiot for doing that.
juicyfruit222 0
Lmfao!!!! Thats funny as hell she odeed tho wait what pork chop did u slap her with? O.o lmao
Demon_Squirril 9
Lol your such a dumbass. YDI.
dansco 25
You're a pair of idiots who deserve each other! Hit her with raw meat, are you thick?
CaseyAC 0
That is disgusting.
withasmile 3
Ok - raw meat is disgusting and can make you sick. Your sense of humor is questionable and I think you're an idiot. BUT - your girlfriend is either incredibly stupid or psychotic to retaliate with throwing hot grease on you. Either way - she is definitely NOT a keeper. So if you stay with her after this - you deserve it - otherwise you don't.
withasmile 3
And - if she didn't actually do it on purpose - like some have suggested and she had it in her hand when you did it - a reflex - I feel bad for you but not smart at all! I'd have to say you deserve it then.
AmazingLadyy13 0
I always slap my frogged with a banana peel while saying "Banana slap!"
kiddyup 0
women are evil... they come back wuth the worste shit
i_luv_u3030 3
funny how when the jokes on you ur offended props to ur girlfriend for giving u a wake up call