Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Smart and strategic by your dog. Drooled for you to fall. it was intentional, i tells ya.
Leodak 16
Don't be a dick to your dog then.
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Comments (97)
1dvs_bstd 41
Smart and strategic by your dog. Drooled for you to fall. it was intentional, i tells ya.
Juicenub 25
And it looked like an accident, too.
TheTacoMan 24
Karma even applies to other species, OP
HersheySquirts 17
#1 It was Wilfred
mz135 12
Karma bitch
badluckalex 23
the most painful torture is to put crsipy bacon just out of reach
LunarServant 10
I AM DYING RIGHT NOW IM SERIOUS
Leodak 16
Don't be a dick to your dog then.
JBirdeye 14
Don't be a pig* to your dog
shudson186 17
I don't think them not allowing their dog human food is being piggish. That was pretty rude #36. There is no need for you to be a dick.
mrwilsong 6
You must be stupid , it's a bacon pun , a bad one , but it wasn't meant to be rude.
1jordan1 11
The teasing is what's rude #38. Showing it to the dog making him think he can have it and then taking it away. That's messed up. That's also how you teach dogs to constantly beg for and steal food. It's his own fault.
JKPwnage 27
#60 Don't put a space before a comma, idiot
DiamondGirlj 18
Uhh 38, is calling OP is rude then isn't calling them a dick rudder?
Maxwellminpin 19
Tis "more rude," #81, your saying as if 'twas a "rudder" on a boat.
demonhunter3220 14
Dog gone it.
Welshite 40
"It's bacon!"
Queen_bee1234 21
I honestly don't understand the whole bacon obsession.
SkittlesGoRawr 19
I agree with #14. Bacon is good and all, but a lot of people treat it as a damn religion.
juturnaamo 29
Pretty sure he was referencing the beggin strips commercial.
juturnaamo 29
Pretty sure he was referencing the beggin strips commercial.
SkittlesGoRawr 19
Of course he was, but that doesn't mean #14 can't be replied to. ^^
Adm_Twigs 19
praise be to the incarnation of God in meat! praise bacon!!! hallelujah!
Chibi_Kitten 24
No..it is all about the waffle now. Bacon was so yesterday.
False_Stupidity 42
Not the blue waffle I hope #53.
lennon_ 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's what you get for eating meat and teasing your dog! Vegetarian power!
Welshite 40
Let's not even start this vegetarian vs vegan vs omnivore debate. Okay? Thanks.
lennon_ 16
dude I was joking relax
vexer 1
******
JMichael 26
That's karma for you.
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
In this case. Karma's a bitch.
Calingaladha 21
Or was it dogma?
Sebastian2022 22
Teasing is never the answer. Everyone hates to be teased.
Ninja_Plumber 9
Looks like a slippery situation.
jerryj 27
Wasn't even a situation at all, really. It was more of an event.
elcee1987 18
Debatable. Nerd.
leeloo900 9
Haha! Nice. That's karma for ya. :P
draketv 10
I'm glad the dog got it your a real asshole for teasing your dog like that