Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML
Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
peete182 0
Wait until she falls asleep then take all of her left shoes, leave the right ones, she won't know what's going on
leftyy 0
then there would be nothing LEFT
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (180)
jocelynelise 4
awwh. that sucks.. you should push her in a lake! just for giggles.
amhort 4
It's gross that you hit her with raw mean, but she COMPLETELY overreacted...
Allyrocks113000 0
Remind never to eat anything if I ever come to your house.
ElricMustang 23
In what world would it be funny to slap someone with a raw porkchop? Sprekin any English on your planet?
fail_gurl21 7
uhmm OUCH!!!
JustAGirlOnFML 11
I see this as a FYL and YDI, You shouldn't have done that, and neither should she. Her more.
PatRme 9
How the can anyone say you deserved that? People are crazy
Lucky7Samson 10
That bitch is crazy. A porkchop slap is childish, embarrassing, but above all HARMLESS. That hoe could have put you in the damn hospital with hot grease. Kick that hoe to the curb.
DolphinGirl369 11
Why the hell are there so many ydi?! Regardless of how angry you get, it's violence is never acceptable, and throwing how grease on someone can land them in the hospital with third degree burns! Hope you're ok OP and dumped the bitch. (And yes, I'm a woman. Shouldn't matter though...)
TMWhisp 22
No porking around in the kitchen!