ANON
Sacramento, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
idontlikebitter
Klingnau, Switzerland
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
Anonymous
Coming through
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
box bulge
China
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
brooke
United States
Today, while out at dinner with my boyfriend, I accidentally ripped out my tampon picking a wedgie. FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
pantyripper
Essendon, Australia
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
grossed out
Mount Prospect, United States
Grooooss!
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Ouch
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Anon
Auckland, New Zealand
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Top comments
agentaquamarine 4
talk about ear-otic
ghostlilac 25
Andy Samberg? Is that you?
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Comments (180)
reeneebabe 10
lol(x
spookycat32 6
Eargasm!!!
meaui 5
Arent your ears connected to your private parts? Makes it a lot lees awkward imo
kareena_clarke 2
that is so sexy
darkfireflame 15
That is a rare gift.
pfft123 14
Awesome! Not sure if I should laugh or facepalm on this one lol.
bleh1st 0
I swear to GOD that I just spent 10 minutes making an account to just comment on this because I've been on fml for 3 hours, and the second I go to the bathroom and am cleaning my ears out with a q tip, I read this... I swear... wtf.
TrueFG 2
You should talk to Lonely Island, I've heard they like to **** in their pants too.
Puncake69 5
Good I'm not the only one
6demon6spawn6 12
I get that it feels nice, but thats nasty.