Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML
Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, I learned that my married mom has been having an affair with my best friend for over a year. When I tried to fight him, he knocked me on my ass and said, "Your mom is sexy, and your dad's tiny dick wasn't good enough for her. Don't screw this up for me or I'll beat your ass." FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, my mom came home unusually early from work and walked in on me hooking up with a guy. What made it more embarrassing is the fact that I’m 19 and my hookup is 52. FML
Today, I discovered that the "hot, slutty, woman" my roommate has been dating is my mom. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
Look on the bright side, you have good genes
limitles 14
You deserved it for letting your friends talk about your mother this way. One swift punch to the teeth and no one would dare verbalize their hormonal urges.
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Comments (92)
WitEluded 13
Look on the bright side, you have good genes
Pleonasm 36
Maybe they have a fugly father who knows?
hellnosucka 27
it's just reassuring to know that the good genes are there somewhere.
CoolCookie210 22
Ugh sorry OP. No one needs to have that mental image of their mother. Really rude of your friends to say that in front of you :(
higgysaurus 18
I don't think its rude, yeah nobody likes to hear about their parent, but its not rude, its just maybe a bit uncomfortable
FluffyPandas156 13
what would your expect to come out during truth or dare? there's a lot of questions in it that we don't want to hear at all.
friedpwnadge 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh yeah? Well your MOM is screwable. Wait...
DogeDogeDoge 13
I shall give you a golf clap for effort.
cole66 14
when u get #3 and fail
friedpwnadge 25
I knew the grave I was digging for myself. Both feet were in before I pressed the send button.
coried91 28
Just think of how screwable you must be. Hopefully your looks came from her!
limitles 14
You deserved it for letting your friends talk about your mother this way. One swift punch to the teeth and no one would dare verbalize their hormonal urges.
money2g 7
Seems op didn't have the balls to do that. I can't believe people let their "friends" talk about their mother like that and think its no big deal. Whatever happened to respect?
beeferjay 34
respect is earned and sometimes demanded by a swift kick to the nuts
Badkarma4u 17
You don't earn respect by kicking another man in the nuts. You look like a cheap shot taking coward.
IamHercules 24
@32 in this case, and many cases, fear and respect are synonymous.
Badkarma4u 17
if you walk up to someone and pull a cheap shot, no one is going to fear you. As a matter of fact most men will think less of you.
DoomedGemini 38
As someone else said, it's truth or dare.. Embarrassing, uncomfortable things come out of it.
Kielnmsoftly 26
Why do people on this site always overreact? It might just be to get a reaction out of OP. Even it if isn't, physical abuse isn't gonna help because starting a fight with a whole group is gonna get your ass jumped by the group...unless you're a MMA fighter, in which case, DO IT, JUST DO IT!
Trinidad727 9
To be honest I wouldn't call those people your friends... They have mommy issues.
flamingarrow59 21
why would you leave a friendship because they think your mom is hot?
higgysaurus 18
How does finding an older woman attractive equal mommy issues?
cIouds 15
I think he's trying to make a pun?
quinn1184 25
Looks run in the family ? Give one of them a good punch and the rest will either stop or it will turn into a brawl.
Jatok 17
That sucks, but that's what guys do. I don't know how old you are, but usually by the time you get to high school your guy friends will start to 'notice' a parent. Try not to dwell on it too much!
MidnaLink 35
That's not what guys do. That's what disrespectful assholes do. Being a guy myself, I would never catch myself talking about doing any of my friends' mom's.
thatonetribute 31
Oh my gosh, that really does suck.
Goblin182 27
Yes it does. But does Mom? I'll leave now.
UncleCaitlyn 21
Well I didn't wanna say anything but your mom is pretty hot