Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML
Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML
Today, my roommate yelled at me yet again for using the dishwasher because it's "unsanitary." This is all while a mountain of her dishes were going mouldy in the sink. FML
Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go on a group trip instead of paying our water bill. Now I can't shower until next week. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
WitEluded 13
I find the blocking the number part the funniest part... If you live together, blocking the number won't stop you from talking to them.
thatonetribute 31
...that is a slight overreaction.
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Comments (45)
thatonetribute 31
...that is a slight overreaction.
anonymuse_fml 31
...that is a slight understatement.
Crossing 17
Yes, Germaphobia is still a thing.
Lalala579121 28
...this is an ellipsis.
mxgirl1998 26
#30, how is germaphobia an excuse? it's soap- they could have just gotten a new one instead of over reacting.
thetruckboy 6
We need a third button that says WELL **** YOU TOO. that's what I'd tell your roomate. then proceed to be a COMPLETE AND UTTERLY THOROUGH pain in the ass.
A07 48
I can see that you're new here so I'll give you some advice, Calm the **** down. Enjoy your stay
beeferjay 34
at least you don't have to talk to the bitch anymore... hashtag win
A07 48
Not every female is a bitch you sexist pig
americanafrican 32
one acting like that more than likely is
beeferjay 34
walks like a duck, quacks like a duck... it's a duck
CaletheLion 15
Next time she uses something of yours. Kick her out.
WitEluded 13
I find the blocking the number part the funniest part... If you live together, blocking the number won't stop you from talking to them.
Cian_1 28
Especially if you're roommates! Kinda hard to ignore someone sharing the same room as you. :P
PANDORUM89 21
roommate doesn't mean literally sharing the same room....
Cian_1 28
Well actually that is what the definition of a roommate is, otherwise it is flatmate etc. Granted, they might not have meant it in that context, in which case they used the wrong word. :)
PANDORUM89 21
I see where we differ, in the States everyone says Roommate for another person living with you, they don't specifically mean sharing a room. :)
Hipnog 15
That's seriously immature, you're better off without a person like that.
gamermonster 34
You can't get rid of a roommate in like 3 seconds...
Lalala579121 28
Apparently you can, by using their hand soap.
coried91 28
Well, that's one of the most stupid things I've heard people fight about. She seems like she has some serious issues.
quinn1184 25
that's pretty petty. time to find a new room mate op
UncleCaitlyn 21
Maybe you could talk to her when you see her, probably where you live
whatarethisss 23
That's sooo stupid.