Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, my mom told me that she heard me and my best friend in my room grunting and talking about how hard we were. She said she loved me and accepted me no matter what. Thanks mom, but we were working out. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my best friend is not allowed over anymore is because he hits on my mom and writes her love letters. FML
Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML
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Top comments
acmariner99 25
Aren't double standards amazing?
julfunky 29
She’s your mom, not his. Of course she’s going to lecture you and not him. Though the hive-five is definitely odd.
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Comments (10)
acmariner99 25
Aren't double standards amazing?
julfunky 29
She’s your mom, not his. Of course she’s going to lecture you and not him. Though the hive-five is definitely odd.
tounces7 28
What in the absolute ****? What kind of ****** up mother high-fives a kid who slept with her daughter?
Mr_Mole 24
A made up one.
Emma Marshall_738558922 12
What a weird Bitch
PenguinPal3017 19
I would feel so weird getting a high five from a mother for ******* her daughter.
fde2blknimout 18
If “it” never went anywhere then what was the protection for?
coute21 6
"It" meaning the relationship, not the sex.
slytheryn 14
what the hell? lmfao
OneWhoKnows 5
Sicko mom -Sounds like a narcissist