Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my junior marines called to tell me they were in an accident that totaled both cars. The car he hit was parked in a nearby parking garage. It was mine. FML
Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML
Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML
Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML
Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML
Today, at my job as a supermarket manager, I had to break up a fight over a handicapped parking spot, in which an elderly man nearly got beaten over the head with a prosthetic leg. This wasn't what I expected when I was told I'd been promoted. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
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Top comments
MagicMushrooms 0
RAMIERZ!!! GUARD MY PARKING SPOT!
mfmylifesrsly 30
I love military men :)
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Comments (319)
communism_is_yes 0
First off, you're an E-3. Sorry to disappoint you, but you're still a private. Just by another name. Get more than one stripe, and you can complain about what you're being called. Secondly, you're the one that chose to act in the manner that caused your NJP. Don't bitch when you get punished as a result. You deserved it, especially when in the position of being only an LCPL. Shut up and do what you're told, unless it is an unlawful order or there is an unnecessary risk being taken. You're acting like a little kid that got in trouble for hitting someone else in school, and is now pissed because he has to sit out of recess. You did it to yourself.
eener23 1
probably a boot that got in trouble.
iliv2serv 0
Although I do agree that assault is a bit over the line, and if OP "just doesnt care anymore" as he says, then its time for some different duty for him-how about a few months of honor guard? Ive done the Combat tours, so that is no excuse-OP do what you need to do to remember why u serve.
smoke_eater05 0
sucks for you, boot! terminal lance isn't all bad...haha. I can't imagine how crappy it'd be to be stuck on the ground while everybody else gets to fly though. I kinda can't get stuck on gear/parking spot guard... cpl b
usmc370 0
lmao... good ole okie! I just got out of there!
Cris_dell 0
grow up. he is serving for your dumb ass
fleh 0
it just means he values you more and is teaching you discipline so you can be better than the other marines
vee3531 0
and it's things like that, that make me happy to be out.... ooorah devil semper fi
MrsCantrell 0
ha yea your in Hawaii, my husband and I just ets'd outta their. I miss it so beautiful. oh that's not gonna the only stupid thing you do their will be lots of others.
RockstarRN 10
Who's Cheerios did you piss in?