Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my junior marines called to tell me they were in an accident that totaled both cars. The car he hit was parked in a nearby parking garage. It was mine. FML
Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML
Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML
Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML
Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML
Today, at my job as a supermarket manager, I had to break up a fight over a handicapped parking spot, in which an elderly man nearly got beaten over the head with a prosthetic leg. This wasn't what I expected when I was told I'd been promoted. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
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Top comments
MagicMushrooms 0
RAMIERZ!!! GUARD MY PARKING SPOT!
mfmylifesrsly 30
I love military men :)
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Comments (319)
TheoryPanda 0
You shouldn't be posting on FML, those terrorists might steal his spot
Infantry0311 0
oorah brother ! , nothin wrong with being a PFC . I just got back from Stan , im only an 18 year old E-2 with a purple heart , an AK round in my ribs, shrapnel in my pelvis and a Medcal discharge haha YUT!
someairforcedude 0
Lesson of the day: don't piss off your NCOIC.
conmanusmc 0
oohrah!!!
TheSailorMan 0
grow the **** up. you're a marine, and you're complaining because you didn't go on a heli ride? what're you, four? seriously, there are men who don't get to see their firstborn children born, women who will never see their husbands again because of an IED, countless cases of men and women coming home to a significant other in bed with someone else (saw that happen to a fellow sailor), and you're submitting an FML for BS.
AtomicBryce 0
and you joined because......
seanchai 0
haha that's like the gear guard and security detail i had in Iraq: armored to the teeth in the heat while securing a patch for the officers and SNCOs to play football.
JJUSMC 0
I'm a LCpl and the SSgt has made me do the dumbest things.
brittanysock 0
Maybe next week they will take your training wheels off an you can ride with the big boys, BOOT! Haha
SlickWillyTFCF 5
I've been there too man. Sucks like all he'll. Semper Fi.