Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my junior marines called to tell me they were in an accident that totaled both cars. The car he hit was parked in a nearby parking garage. It was mine. FML
Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML
Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML
Today, I got my posting orders for the Air Force. After spending four years training and studying to become an aerospace engineer, I am getting sent to the only base without aircraft. FML
Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML
Today, at my job as a supermarket manager, I had to break up a fight over a handicapped parking spot, in which an elderly man nearly got beaten over the head with a prosthetic leg. This wasn't what I expected when I was told I'd been promoted. FML
Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MagicMushrooms 0
RAMIERZ!!! GUARD MY PARKING SPOT!
mfmylifesrsly 30
I love military men :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (319)
familyguy11 0
I'm sure he'd be very pissed if he figured out you were writing an fml instead of guarding his parking space
Whooni14 0
why would they be going up in the air if theyre marines...
KSmith29 0
That's what you signed up for. Stop complaining, do some MCIs, and get promoted so you don't have to stand as much bs duty. And while you're at it, stop complaining about the military on the internet.
NMX944 0
hahahaha and what did you do to the ssgt to deserve that ? tell the while story lil devil dog.
NMX944 0
sorry SSgt. I should be more careful posting ranks.
codylilley 0
Marines has a big M
Bcfrmkc816 17
shut and act like a soldier!
Nastybunk 0
He is a Marine not a soldier
2141_MECH 0
He is a Marine, not a worthless pice of Sh*t
los213 4
not soliders Marines!!!!
Nastybunk 0
Suck it up devildog some day you'll do the same to your junior Marines and think it's funny. But trust me not all SSgts are like that take it from me I'm not like that. if I saw that I'd probably say something to him cuz that's personal servitude
sgtmike666 0
armies better
Interstate74 0
u never know, u could be the next osama killer
geezmojo 5
because you're a "Boot", that's why.