Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
raNDMGUy 5
bs @14 anyway, this person doesnt state that they're in america, she might be from england or australia, here in australia it only has to be above .05 to be a DUI, this isnt the issue anyway, its the fact that the OP actually registered anything, he/she wasnt driving
louisianagrrrrl 0
Just say you had used moutwash right before you left, that will make you fail a breathalizer
BaldOuting 0
it's 5 o'clock somewhere
dg72592_fml 0
lol why the **** would you be at school at 7 pm anyway. boarding school?
dammn 0
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO .
blahdsflksfd 0
Anyone who drinks before they are 21 should be locked up. Go read a book...this is why the schools in America suck. The kids prioritize alcohol before learning. Alot of people on here are trying to say its legal up to .08...thats for driving and only over 21.
lolwhat_fml 0
I can't even describe how much you fail ;D
amorvincit 0
To everyone who says that there is no way the OP can be in high school and still have assemblies at 7:00pm: I vaguely remember in high school, about a month before our prom, all the students attending the prom had to go to a meeting about what was "appropriate and inappropriate" (i went to Catholic school) and drinking and driving. Each student had to go to the meeting with a parent. It began probably around 6:30. If this was the case, students, parents, and teachers all could have been at school.
haha_awesome 0
dude, you're kind of my hero now. that is awesome!
xkaokaox 0
#14 shouldn't you have almost died >>...?