Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
alex_vik 1
#130 - If I can blow a .00 on my brother's $20 breathalyzer and he can then blow a .06 after a few beers, I'm sure the one they used in the assembly was much higher quality and thus, more accurate.
samanthaxXxlynne 0
#10 you sound stupid..what would make you think that she ment 7am? and learn some respect who cares if she misspelt a word or didnt put a space. #27 you sould ridulously stupid right now go to rehab? are you serious?
greatnt249 0
"Even though people naturally produce alcohol" Um, no, people don't produce alcohol on their own. "and you don't blow a .06% it's just a .06. If you wanted the percentage it would be 6%." Wrong again; the 0.06 actually is 0.06%...you'd be dead if your BAC was 6%. Some of you people really need to educate yourselves before posting, not to mention the fact that if the OP was a minor, 0.02% is the legal limit. To the OP, what the hell were you doing drunk at a school assembly?
RazorFox16 0
@137, Yes. Our Bodies Do Produce Alcohol By Themselves. Not A Lot, But Still Alcohol.
tipsypiink 0
So....atleast you weren't driving! Who seriously goes to those demonstrations sober, anyway?
notyouraverage 0
i go to boring classes drunk alll the time. its not like i would pay attention anyway. and those of you who think he/she meant 7am and it being too early has never been to a college football game thats starts at 1030.
GhostOfPerdition 0
gg dipshit.
BB_baby 0
to all the people saying why would you go to school drunk? .06 is not drunk at all thats barely even buzzing and you cant assume they meant 7am so stop bitching about that and if it was an assembly at 7pm it was probably something that was sent out in the mail to parents and the op's parents made them attend think before you post stuff that makes you look like a jackass
Touch_fml 0
Did you use mouth wash?
fALLyl 0
YDI for actually going to those assembly things
greatnt249 0
"to all the people saying why would you go to school drunk? .06 is not drunk at all" It's not legally drunk; however, it can be enough to impair your judgment, and if your judgment is impaired profoundly enough, you can be charged with DWI even if you haven't exceeded the legal limit. Hell, you can be arrested for driving while sleep deprived if you're that big a danger to everyone else. You people need to learn the difference between the legal and physiological definitions of intoxication; they can be profoundly different from one another.