Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
caught22 0
BS! first off why would there be an assembly at 7 pm about that kinda thing? like.... 7 pm would be pep rallys and sports games and ish, not a drinking and driving assembly. secondly, it you were drunk why the hell did you even go back to school? i would blown that shit off and kept gettin my drink on
FullFrontalFail 0
#165- Your math is off by a tenth. .08 means that your blood is .8% alcohol- not 8% alcohol. Common misconception.
luvinblink87 0
i think he meant 7am... and all of you who are calling him a dumbass are the REAL dumbasses. You mean to tell me you NEVER drank before class in high school? we used to take everclear shots in the parking lot... and he probably didnt know about the assembly either. We never knew there was going to be an assembly at our school because they just announced it when we got there. You dont know if he was drinking and driving either... but im sure he was underage so blowing ANYTHING means hes in trouble. Calm down people. Hopefully you all partied it up when you were younger too... hes definitely not a dumbass.
idontknow987 0
Why did you have a school assembly at 7 pm? 165 and 168 you're both wrong. A BAC of .08 means your blood is .08% alcohol
kitkatkelly 0
#35 and 39, good point.
ohcody 0
I like all the people who think it might be a teacher when there are glaring spelling errors in the OP.
FullFrontalFail 0
Ah, that's it, #170, thanks.
badboy111 0
#10- who really gives a f if he can spell or not. hes on fml, not spelling bee.
ozac 0
Why would you have drank before this anyway? Sounds retarded. YDI. way to go.
firedragon64 0
Lol what did the cop say "ummm, well...as you can see here he has been drinking, and I am going to need to talk to your parents" LMFAO