Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
cwufmylife 0
It said "school", "parents", and "assembly", so who ever mentioned .08 is retarded, anyone who is under 21 is ZERO TOLERANCE, plus the kids in HS, .06 was probably doing him alright.
AntiChrist7 0
drunk at 7.00 in the morning: rehab!!! YDI
silverwind_fml 0
"P" is on the opposite side of the keyboard than "A" so I think the OP knows what they're talking about. Plus, it says in front of the students and parents. If it was a student it would most likely say "teachers and parents."
hawky_06 0
lolz
zafay 0
LMFAO!!!!! this is soo funny!
sleepless15_p 0
an assembly at 7pm? retarded. Going to school drunk extremely stupid. YDI
Mattyknows 0
#53, were you drunk when you wrote that? If OP meant 7pm; perhaps he had a glass of wine or two at dinner? Perhaps he had a beer as he watched "the game" or whatever . . . However; if OP meant 7am as stated by #10; could certain cough syrups; or any other medication blow up for .06% ? I'm asking because I don't know not rhetorically! Finally; did you drive to school? I'm pretty sure if your under 21; zero tolerance policy is in effect; yeah? Your FML leaves a lot unanswered so, not YDI or FML yet.
Jezaroo 0
7pm? sounds like it wasn't actually any lessons, just go for an hour and sit and watch. If you didn't drive to school you could just say you got home and figured you'd have a beer or two to relax, 0.6 is the limit which isn't a lot it's not like you was totally wasted.
Velocininja 0
thats what you get for drinking at school
tysgirl 0
I didn't feel like reading all 153 comments, so I'm sorry if someone else pointed this out already. The OP was at a school assembly, thus, one can assume he/she is in high school (hopefully not younger than high school!) and, therefore, under 21. Since the legal drinking age is 21, blowing anything over .00 is illegal.