Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, while driving home I had to pee really bad, so I speeded up to get home quicker. I got pulled over for speeding and peed my pants. The cop, assuming I was drunk, made me take a sobriety test. I had to walk a straight line with piss all over my pants at 2:00 in the afternoon. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I saw a car in front of me swerving across 3 lanes of traffic. Thinking he might be drunk, I dialed 911 on my phone, but I dropped it. I fished under my seat to get it, swerving, and got pulled over by highway patrol and given a field sobriety test. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML
Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML
Today, I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML
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Top comments
poopypeepee 0
um..what were you doing drunk at school??? ydi
mrgorbachev 0
That's ridiculous-- you can't say yes because then they'll know you're drunk, and you can't say no because then they'll know you're drunk. Sucks.
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Comments (303)
kaseyslifesucks 5
What does OP mean??
SayPeanuts 29
Original Poster
kxrider580 0
That is freaking awesome hahahahhaha
Sukismama 2
@10, marykate no crap she had to have been drinking thats a bit obvious and also it clearly says 7PM
KatherineJ 0
Darn mouthwash. Always making you look like you've been drinking.
codbloodedkill3r 0
Mouth wash, it contains alcohol
bunniex1 11
a lot of things besides beer and such have alcohol in them she couldve used mouthwash before or somthing weird
_highandlow 5
Drink drink drink drink drink till you can't no more.
oliepop12 3
Why was your assembly at 7pm? If you meant am then you need to start drinking later! XD
Faye2210 9
Why would you go to an assembly drunk? Its not like you have to show up for an assembly at 7 right?
Ahaddad123 27
What's 0.6 mean?