Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my brother was suspended from school. He referred to himself as "Master" and two female classmates as his "bitches" in front of his teacher. He's ten years-old. What kind of family do I live in? FML
Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about isn't real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML
Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML
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Top comments
mastamouse 12
You bloody wanker
bazookajoey 27
Brothers look up to older siblings You could convince him to change the name (:
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Comments (69)
mastamouse 12
You bloody wanker
\ 28
"GET ON THE POINT, WANKER!"
enddmd 27
Yew anchors
urdirtyolduncle 15
Is his american brother named Fapper and his sister Schlicker and his grandpa Cantgetaboner
Venasaur1 9
Wanker. Potato po-tah-toh. He's a kid man, it's all innocent fun, and the adults'll get a hell of a laugh out of it.
xITzAusTin 5
A TF2 reference. Yussss. @32
AllKnowingTurtle 9
It's the thought that counts :)
shaww 28
Won't be a problem if Wanker is a girl
SmoothPancakes 10
Peggy, is that you?
SmoothPancakes 10
Apparently some people failed to get the Married With Children reference regarding Peggy (Wanker) Bundy. My faith in humanity has decreased even more this day. God this world can't come to an end soon enough...
iOceanus 18
Well... that escalated quickly.
91hayek 31
Don't worry, being an old grumpy pants will ensure it will end soon enough. For you.
marijuflowers 6
Lol fail.
PresidentNorth 16
I thought the good died young and the evil lived forever. Unless I've been wrong this whole time mister grumpy pants will just live a lot longer than us and he will be miserable.
slooby_fml 25
Girls can wank too
Raidriar 14
Smooth Pancakes, just because people don't recognize an obscure reference from a TV show you want the world to end?
bazookajoey 27
Brothers look up to older siblings You could convince him to change the name (:
TrippingOnAcid 29
Plot twist: OP turns out to be 5, making them the younger sibling
bazookajoey 27
Omg o.o
jerryj 27
That wasn't a plot twist for me! I was already picturing OP to be younger than the brother. Although, I must admit I was going more for three and a half rather than five.
nomoreparty 11
Lame joke..
PresidentNorth 16
All the down votes. its too much!!
Since1998 20
This thread is just garbage
Zayrt5 11
Just tell them what that is and (hopefully) they will change their minds.
Epickitty58 29
Umm, wasn't this about the OP's LITTLE brother? And he didn't see any problem with the name because he is only six years old. It would be at least a little awkward to hear for the first time about that topic from a sibling, and it may make the OP uncomfortable talking about that topic to their younger brother.
Amama_fml 30
I am curious to know what the hell #31 was talking about. This FML says nothing about a different language...
ShowMeKay 20
Fairly certain #31 is referring to OP explaining this to their parents, who are first gen immigrants. Since they're unaware of words like wanker, English might not be a strong suit - hence the mention of a different language to explain the situation.
BigBootyJudy6969 14
that's quite a common insult here in England lol. But for real, FYL for not being able to convince them otherwise. It'll be quite the amusing meeting with the instructor :)
pimrol 16
BigBootyJudy6969 best name ever. maybe I can be the wanker if we arrange something ;)
kudwafuuu 15
Kindly suggest a name change to him or your parents (though he'd probably take your advice). That or just don't sweat it, he's a kid who doesn't know any better about what that means. Plus, at least where I live in Canada, people don't really use the term "wanker" that often.. So maybe the Canadians in your area might not either.
BigBootyJudy6969 14
Regardless of it being used commonly or not in the area, it is still quite the insult for a child to say. Also, many students may ask what the word means, or even worse, begin to repeat it, which could cause some trouble for the instructor.
pimrol 16
bigbootyjudy6969 is right. (nice name by the way) it could spread further and make a mess of the class and such. to bigbootyjudy6969 can we arrange something so I can be the wanker ;).
singer0421 32
Assuming he hand-wrote them you may be able to pull a sneaky spy move and change it every time to Walker.
electrorange 13
Don't be a wanker and tell him to change the name. How complicated can that be?
loathingloser 14
Must be talented