Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied, "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. The youngest said, "Wow! You have huge nostrils!" She noticed my offended look and pushed her nose up like a pig's, saying, "It’s okay! Now I do too!" FML
Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML
Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML
Today, our 8-month-old son had a big cold and his nose was blocked. I couldn't find the baby nose pump in it's usual place, so I went to ask my husband. He had it in his hand, and was using to decorate the cake that was going to be served to tonight's guests, my parents. FML
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML
Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Today, I was having dinner with my husband and two toddlers. My two year-old son was being incredibly cute and independently drinking water out of an open cup. I commented on how much I loved him. Two seconds later, he threw said cup with water at my head and started laughing. FML
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Top comments
YacL 15
Suddenly, it all makes sense.
krez 20
I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!
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Comments (116)
krez 20
I guess you didn't know that already? Your kid is smart!
StopDropNRoll 11
I'm older than them and I didn't know that!
Kn0wledge123 21
Your kid's a champ op.
thepicoeater 1
regardless of how strange and inappropriate of your children, it was cute.
tatababe 1
that was too cute don't be embarrassed there kids
scrapmetal58 9
I would have given OP a promotion just for that. I likes my humours!
matt5217 4
lol I tried it, it worked!
YacL 15
Suddenly, it all makes sense.
cherrybitches 6
the next genius congrats op
heyguysitsjosh 8
agreed- that's a priceless moment you had there, not an FML
LeiT 0
Finally i know why! :)
xknightlightx 2
no we have two holes due to symettry from the way cells divide geee wth
dre_bro11 12
Yes, because the fact that we have liver, spleen etc on one side of our body and not the other is symmetrical, right?
FamilyGuyFTW 0
You didnt get it -.-
FamilyGuyFTW 0
60, i dont think u got it.
k8izgr8_fml 0
60- if your going to post that three different times and in three different spots you should probably post something that's actually correct.
MidnightXRaver 0
I'm sure your CEOs Picked up on that
sakforduc 0
they "picked" up on that. haha.
Alex94xela 0
oo pikachu naruto
sandybaybe 3
cute kid.. be proud of him or her..
Bekll 31
"Son" and "he" mean the kid is male.
sandybaybe 3
oops I just realized you already said 'He then demonstrated'.. my bad.
kings1fan 6
This actually makes sense!
xknightlightx 2
we have two holes due to symettry from the way cells divide geee wth
kiakia0131 23
If people voted down your same comment just a few comments above, what makes you think people are going to vote it up this time? They didn't like it the first time you said it.
MandaOSU 1
I feel like I've read this exact comment before...
klc2010 0
when one nostril gets "tired" of breathing the other takes over. we only use one nostril at a time to breathe
Person1233 13
I'm sure the CEOs will understand the difficulty of controlling a 3 and a 4 year old's mouth.
vegan_muffin 5
That's what I was thinking. This basically says, "Today, I have two young children, FML."
taazer 12
i hope the ceo's laughed i would cause its really funny :)
xCocobirdx 0
And then everyone gasps at your child's geniusness :D
xknightlightx 2
no we have two holes due to symettry from the way cells divide geee wth
LaughinStock 16
62 really I've seen you're comments 3 times..we get it
MandaOSU 1
Seriously how many times are you going to post this symmetry comment!?!?
commietaco 0
no guys you don't understand......we have nose symmetry from the way our cells divide!!! lol
jacksonclarke 0
will the CEOs really go "those children are acting childish. let's judge this parent harshly."?
iSurf_fml 8
Exactly. Kids don't really know what they're thinking yet at that age and I'm pretty sure every one ignores what they say anyway.
el_paso_guy89 0
Yeah, but how can you ignore something that funny when it happens right in front of you. My ass would be rolling on the ground laughing.
FallenNevermorE 0
and plus they told you to bring your children so they can't say it's all op's fault for them being there...