Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SumBur 11
Hakuna matata.
angelitared 27
Simba has spoken!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
crisanba 18
"Son Don't play with your pussy it just might shit on you" imagine that conversation with your dad
MissVeracity 12
The cat was just going about its business until it was rudely picked up in front of a crowd of scary strangers, I would probably shit on OP as well in that case.
darwinism 30
You would allow OP to lift you up "lion king style" and you would shit on him? You won't stop him earlier?
MissVeracity 12
It's called revenge ;) I'm sinister like that.
Pwn17 25
Why did you even think this was funny? The worst part is that this isn't even the first FML about this...
Pareidolia101 15
You were trying to be funny? I think watching a cat crap on your face would be funny. But that really sucks for you. Fyl
Pstraka6 20
The Kimg had spoken
KendraLaine 18
He clearly doesn't want to be the future king..
ClaytorNator 12
That's a rather shitty problem...
perdix 31
Or, he saw that open-mic comedian "killing" by spitting on the audience, and tried to one-up her.
Ayanpatel95 7
A major FAIL!
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Maybe he did it because you stupidly spell shit like shat.
Treveyon56 14
You do realize shat is that past tense of shit right?
darwinism 30
Shat; past tense, past participle of shit (verb). [Edit] For example, #42 shat all over my comment by replying before me.