Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, my cat got sprayed by a skunk for the fifth time in two years. He still loves to chase skunks, and gets sprayed every time he does. The putrid scent doesn’t seem to bother him at all, either. Every night, he normally pushes himself up against my face and nose. It’s gonna be a long, restless smelly few days. FML
Today, I tried to introduce myself to the stray cat outside my house. As it turns out, this cat is very friendly. He got up and started climbing on my shoulders like a parrot, sniffing me everywhere. Then I sneezed and he fell, scratching my back and neck very badly as he did so. FML
Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML
Today, I was laying with my face dangling down the side of my bed, when my kitten rushed up to me looking worried. He sniffed me for a while, then decided the best thing to do was to stand on his hind legs and start punching my face like a speed bag. FML
Today, I tried to give my cat a bath after he got into the attic and got covered in all sorts of shit. Halfway through, he freaked out, jumped out of the tub, and ran around the house dripping wet. He then hid under my bed, and I had to practically dismantle it to get him out. Now my bedroom smells like wet fur and broken trust. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Patricia McGrath 2
You're doing it wrong. If you want the cat to sleep there, you need to make it clear that it is yours and it is off limits. Reverse psychology is the only way to deal with them.
Warp1978 15
Yeah it's an anal gland secretion, you're not alone there. At least you can wash it off with heavy soap and you're done unlike a skunk
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (7)
Warp1978 15
Yeah it's an anal gland secretion, you're not alone there. At least you can wash it off with heavy soap and you're done unlike a skunk
Patricia McGrath 2
You're doing it wrong. If you want the cat to sleep there, you need to make it clear that it is yours and it is off limits. Reverse psychology is the only way to deal with them.
hope jm 5
now you're going to need a new bed because his association with that one is bad. with the new one, just Sry it down and leave it alone. maybe sprinkle some catnip on it. then just let him come to it in his own time on his own terms. patience.
hope jm 5
correction, sit it down. spellcheck. lol
idragosani 17
I hear the kids call it cheesing, and it makes you really high and causes you to hallucinate that you are in various scenes from the Heavy Metal movie.
Chazzster 32
It’s possible the bed has a smell that is unpleasant to your cat - especially if it’s new. Did you wash the bedding after purchasing it? I know that I have a sensitive nose and I have to always wash new clothes or bedding before use because the dyes have a smell that bothers me.
CaptainMaggot 11
my cats are fully against new cat beds. setting them in places they have been laying and sprinkling cat nip in it does nothing but drape a towel over that bad boy and suddenly its the greatest thing since toy mice and grooming gloves. then i just slowly slide the towel off a little more everyday and they dont notice the difference