Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, I'm fostering a very shy cat who doesn't like to be held. I had to move the litter box to another room, but when I picked him up to show him where I'd moved it to, he peed on me. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, I had to vacuum for the first time since getting my new kitten. I feared that he would freak out, so I took measures to make sure he would be comfortable, including a "safe room" with toys and a bed for him. As expected, he freaked out. But instead of going to his room, he jumped and grappled onto my face. FML
Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML
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Top comments
airball33 0
You shouldn't have done that
xX504DBXx 0
impressive aha. next time I'd like to see you scare the shit out of an elephant and see how enthusiastic you are about that.
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Comments (61)
airball33 0
You shouldn't have done that
flyersfan365 0
shat is the past tense of shit? learn something new everyday
LosAngelesSon 8
Indeed, you are right. OP should not have done that.
Ismellwin 0
It's alright OP. I enthusiastically scare cute things all the time.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I am enthusiastic about being enthusiastic about scaring cute animals.
CollegeGirl2010 0
nice ^
ClickMyPicture 0
poor cat :( If you did that to my cat i would knock you :)
mamamiaaa_fml 12
16-I just learned that too. I used to hate cats. but they're just so damn cute. when they're small. and fat cats scare me.
_HeadShot_ 0
the past tense of shit is still shit. i am pretty sure of that op - u shouldn't pick up kittens like that u kit molestor
theian01 3
No, it is shat. I shat all over the floor. I shit all over the floor. see?
platypussies 0
72 - Niiiice
swmr4life 9
No shit... thats why its an FML🙄
blackhamster97 7
good job!
MissPo3s 0
YDI, OP.
xFalzz 0
Do I dare ask what goes on in your picture?
DudeImBetter 0
it's probably some weird ass lady gaga type shit.
yuhimjesus 0
what #13 said.
ruby84 1
O.o Please do explain, Miss Po
JeffGoesRawrr 0
seems to me like the one on the right is orgasming and the left one is afraid of something.
Whydoyouask 11
did you think it was going to purr or something by picking it up like that?
xX504DBXx 0
impressive aha. next time I'd like to see you scare the shit out of an elephant and see how enthusiastic you are about that.
nattylove_fml 0
=)
xFalzz 0
Let the age old debate of dogs vs cats begin.
undeadcorpseYAY 0
let me start. DOGS RULE!
mintcar 10
Ew, that's disgusting. YDI for scaring the poor kitten. :/
redbluegreen 41
I'd hate to see what you do with other women.
ruby84 1
lol
DudeImBetter 0
That pussy had a shitty day.
ClickMyPicture 0
Ha ha ha.