Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
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Top comments
FBIWarning 0
Scared shitless?
Shadydeals 0
YDI Dont **** around with your cat like that.
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Comments (230)
FBIWarning 0
Scared shitless?
My2864 1
1# win11!!
victoria4161993 0
you scared the shit out of your cat
grace9856 0
"I thought it would be funny to..." Yeah, I can tell just by that sentence that YDI
bobnorris 0
I did that to a dog once
Technocidal 0
karma, amirite?
HahaHillarious1 0
lol'ed at this comment!! but op thts wat u deserve. dont scare ur cat. tht gives them the chance to run. actually, dont get the cat in the first place. ! dogs rule!!
Carebear423 0
*insert bad pussy jokes here*
NeatNit 33
******** while running away after being scared is a reflex common among mammals. The extraction of feces at high velocity provides a considerable speed boost the same way that throwing a rock would push you backwards sightly. Additionally, by removing the feces from the body, the animal becomes more lightweight and is able to flee with ease. A related, though separate phenomenon common to homosapiens, is where they make up arbitrary factoids related to a topic being discussed for humoristic effect, regardless of their accuracy.
Shadydeals 0
YDI Dont **** around with your cat like that.
lilhedz 0
really? I laughed my ass off when I read this fml
cselby 0
thats karma baby
wet24_7 0
haha lick that shit up YDI
burrito_supreme 0
I laughed, so effing hard. LOL.
bballer8 1
me too. it made my day
Chocolate_Chunk 2
If you're too much of a pussy to spell "*******", don't include the word in your sentences.
LordVoldemort6 0
Heh. Pussy. This FML is about a cat....
slowflake 0
that is so nasty...i guess you know not to scare your cat ever again.
shameonmedude 0
******* are afraid of you huh?
Dutchie2010 0
Hahaha I just burst out laughing when i read this. that just made my day, and YDI :)
jessie996 0
OP's post is the funniest thing I have ever read.
teebonehead 0
Serves you right ! Karma is a bitch !
NickelPhosphate 0
LMAO Way to go, YDI haha! Don't be mean to your pets.