Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
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Top comments
pepper2394 0
Um...I don't think cats like being hung upside down.
DoomJeff91 2
Insert ∞ "shitty day" and "pussy" jokes here.
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Comments (195)
pepper2394 0
Um...I don't think cats like being hung upside down.
koalasloverain 0
Actually, my cat gets mad when he's NOT being held upside down. It just depends.
pepper2394 0
really? If I even try to hold my cat she would try to kill me. I guess it depends on the cat.
rahhal 0
Was your cat born in a state of antigravity? O.o
cxal_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Holding a cat upside down isn't playing - that's animal abuse. Lets hope FML reported your IP with your declaration that you abuse animals, as they are required by law to do
troyboyd05 0
Anybody else think 1 point for the cat?
XCaLX_fml 0
**** u cxal
rotwiler97 2
nobody deserves shit in their mouth
ilovefatcats 12
LOL for getting cat shit in ur mouth. **** u for holdin ir cat upside down I love kitties expecalliy Fay ones <3
ilovefatcats 12
fat* I love FAT cats even my username says so lolz
head2133 12
my cat only let's me hold her like a baby
seenpyro 0
shut the **** upp 119.. don't act like you have never messed with an animal just because it was funny. annd yu don't knoww shit
locketine 0
#147 and #143: calm down cat haters. Jeeze.
pinkkCuteee 0
OP, you're retarded. just sayin.
cornyrob 33
I hold my cat upside-down all the time. I think Spike thinks it's the way he's supposed to be held. I think all my cats had been used to it.
DoomJeff91 2
Insert ∞ "shitty day" and "pussy" jokes here.
Witchcraft_fml 5
She was playing with her pussy and it exploded all over her face? Wow, how shitty? She got pussy explosion-juices in her mouth? Sorry, I tried to follow orders but this was all I came up with. :[
DoomJeff91 2
That was pretty good material you've got. I'll send it to the execs back at the studio and keep you posted. Haha no. A lot of crap comes outta my mouth but it's probably not comparable to the OP.
Witchcraft_fml 5
I'm awaiting your reply.
no0000ob 0
my favorite superpower- infinate uncontrollabe crap
DoomJeff91 2
Great news. We're looking at a movie deal right now. Hopefully the OP doesn't mind dealing with all this big business shit.
NokeyPlc 1
poor cat, ydi!
TeeHee124 0
Wow, playing with? More like abusing.
Asstazztic 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I guess your pussy doesn't like u o.O
gisselle 0
hahahaha.
Roshan 0
Diarrhea + upside down = Shit fountain.
KidsInTheHallFan 0
LMFAO
colton7 0
lol
thatonekid2010 0
yummy!
liz1908 0
Lmao, that took me a while to stop laughing. You - 0 Cat- 1 Now you have to even the score by pooing on the cat.
Mulberry_fml 0
^ This made me lol more than the FML. It's her own fault the cat shit-sprayed her though, poor kitty doesn't deserve such retaliation.
jts924 0
haha take a dump on the cat while it's sleeping!!!!!!
Bloxygen 0
That made me lol so much!
testing_fml 0
how the **** do you play with your cat?
repyourcliche 0
that all depends on whether you are a normal person or engage in zoophilia.
Boxingsweets 0
Bitch, you totally deserve it. :X
perdix 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh, you got shit-faced! I hate when people hassle animals. I play with my dogs, but when they don't like something, I stop doing it right away. I wasn'tootheartbrokenen when Steve Irwin got nailed by a sting ray. That jackass made a career out of hassling, tormenting and molesting animals for our entertainment. I hope your mois was agape as the shit flew and you a big dosedose of just desserts.
DuhthatsObvious 0
I agree with 11. Steve Irwin was hassling animals. Ridiculing animals on TV for your own benefit is never cool. I don't feel the least bit sorry for him. **** you OP for abusing your cat. You should have stopped handling your cat in such a manner as soon as she started complaining.
GoldCoaster 0
leave steve alone you arsehole he was a concervationist and neighbours cats make great hats
Giantt 6
Wtf, Steve was awesome
xNephilim 19
Steve was also dumb enough to mess with animals way out of his league - as his early demise demonstrates. I feel no happiness towards the fact that he died, but I do believe he had it coming.