Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, after encouraging my cat to try his new cat bed all day with no success, I attempted to gently place him in it. Instead, he managed to fear-spray me in the face. Like a skunk. I didn't even know cats could do that. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
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Top comments
SumBur 11
Hakuna matata.
angelitared 27
Simba has spoken!!
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Comments (116)
gaki_fml 8
On the bright side, you were pretty successful at being funny. They'll be laughing at that for years.
kurodansei 16
ummm... you don't hold your cat directly over your head when doing the Lion King. you hold it out a bit so that type of thing doesn't happen.
Ventifrappe 5
At least you got them to laugh.
Bi_ShrDiWun 10
I'm sorry, but I just had to hit YDI as soon as I read "...trying to be funny..."
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Your head is full of shit...
buddy51 23
..... while this cat, clearly, gave a gigantic stinking tuna-laden crap! YDI, OP, for mishandling the pussy!
worldclassrager 41
Lion king song...followed by oh shit...
poopsi 19
My cat personally is really laid back and might as well be a rag doll. Some cats just don't care. :P
billyjoel456 8
So did they laugh?
MerrikBarbarian 9
If you handle your cat at all you know it's personality. I have one cat I can do anything to and she just doesn't care. Long as I am holding her I can balance her on my head and she will stay however I pose her. Other cats will shred me for looking at them wrong.