Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML
Today, and the past few weeks, my dad has been leaving me notes around the house, accusing me of putting the heating on at 3 a.m. and to stop. Except I've not touched the heating for months, and denying it results in both parents screaming that I'm lying. It doesn't occur to them that he's just fucked up the smart schedule. FML
Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML
Today, I installed motion sensor lights in my house to save on energy. When I laid down in bed, I saw the lights turn on from downstairs to the kitchen. I live alone. FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my dad told me I’m no longer allowed to put my phone on do not disturb when I sleep, and a scam caller woke me up at 7 am. I’ve had a serious migraine ever since because waking up early triggers my migraines. FML
Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML
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Top comments
fallen45078 8
unscrew the bulb!
howsthisforaname 34
Every time he does it go to the main circuit breaker and flip it, then go back to bed. All power in the house will be out, he will have to get up to turn it on and reset all the flashing clocks, he will very quickly get sick of doing it. No damage done and though there may be an argument involved he can't claim the moral high ground.
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Comments (102)
fallen45078 8
unscrew the bulb!
desoxyn242 14
Or hit up the fuse box, mess with his ass!
howsthisforaname 34
Every time he does it go to the main circuit breaker and flip it, then go back to bed. All power in the house will be out, he will have to get up to turn it on and reset all the flashing clocks, he will very quickly get sick of doing it. No damage done and though there may be an argument involved he can't claim the moral high ground.
eyepuppy 31
Some people just don't have problem solving skills.
J3R3MYY 14
How many idiots does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?
pwnman 33
Depends on what bulb it is. Some can be dangerous while taking some off when it's on.
chosha_fml 27
But don't tell him you are doing that. Just tell him you slept well.
GreatGeak 8
it's likely something installed on the light switch....if you really wanted to mess with things you could see if there was some sort of controller back there and try to bypass it. ...other than that, fuse box is your best bet.
CelticSkye 13
Seriously, just unscrew the light bulb.
Alastor13X 8
Agreed. Unscrewing it is the best solution. Anyone can reset the breaker, but at least your room is likely able to be locked so that no one can screw the bulb back in as you sleep.
depressingrage 5
And they'll save money on their power bill
howsthisforaname 34
Unscrewing the bulb stops him in the moment but he will still continue to mess with you. Make it as annoying for him as it is for you and he will stop.
Octwo 16
if you really want to get him back you just need to run the power from your light to a siren in his room. Next time he turns it on in the middle of the night he'll get a surprise.
VanOBrien 14
Unscrewing the bulb was the first thought on my list too. My Dad had wired a couple of the new light switches when remodeling in a similar manner. My sympathies.
jake_braves 25
I was about to say turn the fuse box off but then saw your comment. Smart idea though
mominzed 19
#56 Definitely not the one in your profile pic...
umerin 32
My dad did the same thing to me! Figure out how to disable it.
rockey44 16
how
urdirtyolduncle 15
Cow
LowExpectations 30
Maybe OP has some kind of control panel in their room. Smash the damn thing and be done with the father's nonsense.
DArthurVaderian 18
Yeah what a great idea, let's all break our security systems
aireeahna 23
That would be fairly dangerous for a security control panel or an electrical panel to be in a bedroom. Op should probably take his dad's phone and see if there is a way to reprogram which lights his dad can control. I doubt it would allow Op to do it from the phone but it might help him figure out how to fix this problem...good luck Op!
LisaDay 14
or unsrew the bulb at night. problem solved. and he'll stop trying to mess with you when he sees it not working.
Mexico_WC2018 16
Or if you feel like going to the 'complex' stuff just invest in a nice sleep mask
Mexico_WC2018 16
Get his phone and switch the names for his and your room so he gets a taste of his own artificially fruit flavored medicine that tastes absolutely NOTHING like said fruit but is only there to lull kids into false sense of security as they eagerly drink the recommended dose of 'cherry' flavored medicine, only to be present at the mass murdering of his taste buds..... That was off topic....sorry
clumsycarolyn 17
Hide his phone and delete whatever controls that. If you can't just talk to him and tell him why it bothers you, maybe he'll stop
pd2902 22
dad 1 son 0 :p
thrifting 18
Find a way to exact your revenge. Shave off his mustache when he's asleep or put mashed potato mix in his shower head. The possibilities are endless...
silvercamaro 22
Asking him to stop would be more effective here. If OP tries to take revenge than his dad can just ground him or continue to piss him off.
Mexico_WC2018 16
Or it would strengthen their father-son bond as they bond while they exact revengeful pranks on one another
World_Burner 13
Am I the only one still stuck at mashed potato mix? Who the **** thinks of that?!? lol
Niniva 8
I don't know who'd do that. We put koolaid mix in the showerhead.
BadApple88 29
Just live in the dark
cakefete2 31
Invest in a quality sleeping mask.
Getty95 13
That's sucks OP, take out the light bulb? Or find out how to control the lights from your phone?!
daddysgirl8 21
Wear an eye mask or take a shit in the vent in his room.
RageWolf16 31
That escalated quickly
Senseless_487 29
This is one of the only times I'm okay with that phrase.
GentlemanBastard 15
Those are really the only two options?
Jared900DUmpling 30
Yes. Why would there be any other option?
GentlemanBastard 15
You could always combine them and wear an eyemask whilst ******** in his vent. Not sure how good your aim will be, but it'll make it more of a challenge for you.
Senseless_487 29
Extreme vent ********?
1tsmenoah 20
What if the vent is on the roof
killthedead 13
Definitely daddy's girl.
1tsmenoah 20
Is the vent on the floor or something because I'm used to seeing air vents on the ceiling
World_Burner 13
#93, either or/both. Depends on the location of the furnace (attic/crawl space) and if vertical (like in a closet), the direction of airflow.
1tsmenoah 20
#105 okay, thanks for clarifying that I didn't look at the location at first and I'm only used to seeing ceiling vents.
ihpp 22
take out the bulb and go buy a cheap lamp he can not control.
DArthurVaderian 18
If it goes in a socket he can control it
Mexico_WC2018 16
Make it a battery powered lamp
A7XCamaro 19
If it plugs into a socket it's most likely going to have a switch on it, as long as the switch is off the dad can't do shit to it.