Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
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Top comments
snizzlesnuzzle 0
it's yin and yang. not ying.
amerwin 3
Y'all are both losers.
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Comments (139)
HomeAl0ne 20
It's a hint. He merely thinks that it's time to splash out on a new dress.
MrJentipede 2
You went wrong at "trying to be cute," YDI.
hatethislife2010 0
omgosh, stop being so serious, take it like a compliment, sounds like hes trying to be funny ......and stop fronting like u don't pleasure him I mean he is your man
xnxtreme 0
that is funny lol he's got a good sense on humor lol
chunky_roberto 0
Epic Win!!
hiiamsexy 0
lol hAted :p
DRush_fml 12
um... that says a lot about him!
jasin13 5
actually it's YIN to YANG. It doesn't matter whom is which. No G on YIN.
athos1237 4
Clearly he believes you either have some oral skills or you are the other woman.
Sparx1_1 16
So you were being "cute" and trying to get him to say something uber romantic... and he didn't. Next time just tell him you want a compliment so he can know what it is you're fishing for.