Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML
Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML
Today, my girlfriend was upset, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her how much I love her and how beautiful she is. After a minute, her face started to light up. I thought it had worked until I realized that she was being cheered up by the friends she was talking to online. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend she was beautiful. She replied, "Lit." FML
Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Why do you have to try to be sweet? Are you normally a bitter dick?
megpie20693 11
Maybe you caught her in a bad mood?
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Comments (78)
sunkissedluster 20
She's a keeper.
rocker_chick105 31
Thanks for the original comment
desoto96 9
5 thanks for the original reply.
sens3sfailing 25
Thanks for the nachos! *runs away from the mental hospital guards chasing him*
GoodLookingGeese 10
Thanks for thanks.. btw.:Nachos eaten.
jbsington 8
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
megpie20693 11
Maybe you caught her in a bad mood?
BlowinChronic 18
It was still extremely unnecessary though.
missamberrose 17
I agree with #61. It was disrespectful and immature of her to act like that when her boyfriend was just trying to be sweet to her. When I'm in a bad mood I distance myself from people, or take a walk to cool off. I don't say nasty things to hurt them for no apparent reason.
Mirorbo 27
Ouch... Perhaps you should talk with her about what's going wrong with the relationship, darling, to make her feel that way. Or, worst case scenario, it may be time to part ways?
laurbear87 8
Must you call people "darling" in every one of your comments? Maybe it's just me, but it sounds a bit demeaning
turkturkington 13
38 - you gotta take people the way they come. If everyone used the exact same style of language wouldn't it be a bit boring? Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the grammar - but I like it when the way people speak or their personality shines through in their writing/comments. I'm sure he doesn't mean it to be demeaning - so don't take it like that!
arrowintheknee 5
Maybe he's from Northern England where the expression darling is common and not in any way a negative expression, like scottish expression of lass.
Eliseopwns 22
For those of you that can't look for answers yourselves, it's a CHARACTER account. That's why be talks the way he does. In Pokémon XD, he calls people darling all the time, so stop complaining.
capper44 18
#38 have to say #52 got a point as in the area i was born, 'sweetheart' is a common word for using for opposite sexes... Kinda weird but normal.
mrz1177 11
Damn.. At least your not friend zoned...
Dblocker 18
I'd rather be friend zoned than be with that bitch, but then again we don't really know the whole story. For all we know OP could be the biggest douche on this planet.
jojimugo 20
How does friend zone apply here??
perdix 31
Why do you have to try to be sweet? Are you normally a bitter dick?
kurodansei 16
Being sweet is not always easy or natural, my natural state of being is more aloof/detached "sweet" takes some effort. Thankfully my girl knows that and appreciates said effort..... I think.
kurodansei 16
Rather what I meant was just bcuz your not being sweet doesn't mean your being a bitter dick. There is some gray area.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Wouldn't it be easier to cure a bitter dick with some sugar?
LeafsGuy92 10
#24; nothing can cure bitter dick.. Sugar would just make it worse.
perdix 31
#22, for me being sweet is easy and natural, and being a bitter dick takes effort. Fortunately, FML gives me the opportunity to work on that -- it's like a gym to enhance bitter dickdom!
pickles1994 18
Perdix I strongly agree with you. So much that thumbing you up just isn't good enough. (because I know there is a button for that ) For those of you who would use that as a reply... And now I just came to realize that this comment is too much. Eh, it's late my comments always get thumbed down at this time of the night because I can't think of anything witty to say. Meh oh well... I've grown not to care. Ok I'm done... Now.
Lucia_Malpense 14
Geezus, did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what?
kotana191 8
is it that time of the month again?
igive 29
You know, not every girl it's irate during their periods. Some even use it as an excuse to be bitchy.
Hershey903 5
My friend
Hershey903 5
****, ran out of time to edit. She uses this as an excuse for everything. We've caught her off-guard several times for having 2-3 periods in a month
freshberries22 17
Not all of us use it as an excuse. From my own personal experience I tend to say and do hurtful things during that time of the month. I'm not speaking for all women but when one's hormones get thrown out of whack it's hard to be kind to people who are not suffering as well. "Misery loves company." Still I don't know what's up with ops girlfriend we need more info on their background to assess her comment.
FML_Whale 18
Females do use it as an excuse to be extremely bitchy. I had the misfortune of meeting an individual that would talk about her period ALL the time, and she seemed to have it every other day. But, we've all said extremely bitchy things, during TOM (Time Of the Month) and without Tom's help. He might've caught her at a bad time. Us females are confusing.
tymarie2012 31
According to my brother I'm nicer on my period. But I'm also told that I'm a bitch while on it.
loveashlley 6
Your picture makes me uncomfortable tymarie.
Albarufus 13
You should see that as a big freakin sign that something is horribly wrong in your relationship.
sniken 14
could be that he just did or said something earlier that day and that triggered her response. If so and it was a comment made in anger it wouldn't be so bad.
Albarufus 13
That's true and I really hope that's the case in this situation.
DocBastard 40
Maybe she's not happy with you because you consider THAT "being sweet". Perhaps if you ACTUALLY acted sweet all the time she'd be happy.
browneyedgirl52 13
Or maybe he is nice and she's just not that into him.
matt98_fml 13
When I read "trying to be sweet", I wondered how OP acts normally.
missamberrose 17
If OP's trying to act sweet he could still be a nice guy. My boyfriend takes special effort to be sweet because his regular personality is goofy. So when he puts in the effort it means something to me. When he's not being sweet it doesn't mean he's being an asshole, OP might be the same way.