Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
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Top comments
snizzlesnuzzle 0
it's yin and yang. not ying.
amerwin 3
Y'all are both losers.
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Comments (139)
Shadow_Phantom 26
How is this a FML.
munkee_6669 0
op must let the guy use her snatch as a humidor
p33lzhear 6
fyl for having no sense of humor! id be flattered! lol
archer79 0
apparently you keep his fun zone happy. that's a good thing
tigrouficele2012 44
So you're his "other woman"?
lalala2589 0
You all are a bunch of morons for saying y'all.
spoiiledgorgeous 0
Pat yourself on the back, he just told you that you give good face. That or he was hinting your a sideline hoe. which do you prefer?
I_Deserved_It 10
YDI for not understanding that it's "yin" not "ying", and that "yin" represents the female while "yang" represents the male. I'll bet you're one of those gweilos who gets Chinese lettering because it looks cool, thinking it means "peace" or "strength" or something, when the tattoo artist decides to be awesome and write "fuckface" instead.
saxman45 0
Haha. I applaud his clever humor
robertd73 24
what is the fml? your dirty dress?