Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML
Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML
Today, while talking to my parents about my car, my dad said, "Don't put a lot of money into it because we will give you ours when we move." I asked why, and my mom responded, "Well, we helped your sister with her wedding, so this is going to be your wedding gift." I'm getting a car out of pity for not having a wife. FML
Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML
Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML
Today, after spending $300 replacing a dryer and getting the vents cleaned out when our tenants complained their clothes weren't getting dry, my husband and I realized that it was actually the washing machine that was broken. FML
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Today, I got a new washer and dryer set. It's sad when all you have to do at night is make popcorn and watch the clothes washing. I even invited friends over. FML
Today, I asked my SO for help with just the laundry, which translated into him only washing his clothes. We're married with multiple kids, and I currently work 2 jobs. FML
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Top comments
iggz 0
He does have a valid point...
twofirstnames 12
If you read it the same way I did.. It sounds kinda sweet, but at the same time it sounds like he's calling you old or something. If any of that makes sense.
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Comments (188)
moviegirl6 5
Wow...that's just mean.
nateylovesporn 1
failed attempt
DrDilllonReese 12
He never said that he was ungrateful though :)
moviegirl6 5
6 - True. I'll give you that. :)
derper71 3
Make him do the laundry.
ry_ry7 4
Maybe he was just being sentimental?
fabian21 0
I somehow get the feeling he's hinting you belong in the kitchen..
illmatic2 16
22: Since when is the washing machine in the kitchen?
DrDilllonReese 12
24- idk, sounds ghetto, huh?
SCREAM4meeee 0
I think he's hinting that he needs to replace his wife. Obviousllyyy
JenDanielle917 13
32- that's what OP was trying to say. Obliviouslyyy.
SCREAM4meeee 0
Obliviously? Hmmm
zombicidal 11
the man has a point
SCREAM4meeee 0
I was being intentionally stupid. Some of you folks can be really fkn dumb.
Melvar_10 3
Maybe he meant: "I got you, but you don't see me replacing you" :D
Streeet_hayley 6
Why would you go get a washing machine on your wedding day?
illmatic2 16
Who said that they bought it? It was probably just a wedding gift.
sarahxD1234 5
But who gives a washing machine for a wedding gift ?
LiyIa_fml 8
What's the big deal? I always mess with people like that! :)
nava1210 12
The way he said it was mean, but it was a true statement.
RA661 8
104, I can see it now... " Honey, today is the happiest day of my life. I love you with all my heart." Husband: "Me too." Wife: "Hey, let's go get a washing machine."
enonymous 9
As a married man he has duct tape, WD-40, a pair of pliers and corona in the fridge that thing will never be replaced...
hinchkongfang 0
In England, they put their washing machine and dryer in the kitchen... Although I don't think that was inferred in this instance
Cali_Girl_Jess 3
people that can afford to buy them a washing machine instead of the typical toaster oven or blender!
jackthekeeper 24
That's why instead of hinting at something like a washing maching to a man, you should just tell him
YourDone6 8
grit ball time
JenDanielle917 13
Grit ball time?
fml8396 0
Lol like on Madea!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Grit ball? Is that like true grit?
Sgrocks 5
Luv dat movie
LiyIa_fml 8
Wtf is "grit ball"?
ZXDriver 0
Sammich?
iggz 0
He does have a valid point...
JenDanielle917 13
OP and her man went appliance shopping for their honeymoon? How romantic. :D
slick5880 22
Time to upgrade all around.
Enslaved 38
Could have been a wedding gift? I wish I had those type of guests that followed the registry. (:
EvilPotato 15
OP you must be sensitive, depending on the person they might think that's kinda cute.
purplebluetattoo 3
Yeah that's really not bad or an insult.
twofirstnames 12
If you read it the same way I did.. It sounds kinda sweet, but at the same time it sounds like he's calling you old or something. If any of that makes sense.
ikickgingers 15
Kind of like she needs to be replaced too.
twofirstnames 12
Ohh.. Nevermind then :/
0opsie 6
I thought he meant she *didn't* need to be replaced, just like the washing machine. It sounds like he didn't go for it. He's either cheap or the washing machine works well enough.
DrewsFML 8
Sweet... but also insulting. That's why they call it a backhanded compliment.
Shleebs 12
I think it could go either way. Depending on the inflection in his voice he could have meant "Well, I've had you for the same amount of time and you don't need to be replaced." or "New washer, new wife."
akayc32 0
Or he was being a smart ass and not meaning anything by it.
alexchiltonLC 7
If he was complimenting her I doubt this would be an fml...
AaronTkr 0
he sounds nice.
Notimetobleed 14
He's every woman's dream man
sillyboo 4
oh yeah. the guy who gets tired of you after a few years. AWESOME.
DFlit1 0
The hint was too subtle... Men like straight to the point, when r women going to figure that out?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
Agreed
Sonic_boomerang 5
Honestly why beat around the bush? If females want something just say it, it's not difficult.
bizarre_ftw 22
When men figure out how to take a hint :)
Enslaved 38
Subtle hinting is a trick women do to make men "think" they're in charge. Now you guys know. You're welcome!(:
bizarre_ftw 22
Btw, 39 - men have a larger hypothalamus which, to put it simply, means they're more impulsive and rely strongly on instinct; also the hypothalamus controls the fight or flight instinct, food and hunger (I think), and sex & reproduction (I know for sure), kinda sums up the male brain right? Exactly. Women have a smaller hypothalamus, however it's right next to the pituitary gland which releases hormones like, oh idk, during our periods - hello PMS ^_^! but most of the time the smaller hypothalamus means we're less impulsive, as well I believe we May have a larger frontal lobe which deals with logic, problem solving, thinking, etc... It's part if the cerebrum with is the part of the brain used for higher thinking. So basically men are primal and impulsive sex and food addicts and women are intelligent, calculating reason, logic, and intelligence based beings (again, except for when our pituitary glands are murdering our hypothalamuses, a.k.a. The Ares of the brain >.
bizarre_ftw 22
- btw this is all due to one simple fact, back in primal times (early human times, before civilization and higher brain function) the men had to hunt and the women had to raise the young. Hunting requires fast reflexes and instinct and child rearing requires intellect and creativity. See?
Marcella1016 32
I agree with 53. They've been married how long and she still needs to "hint around" about needing new major appliances? Come on. Unless she's a house wife who stands around making him sandwiches all day, just say, "Herbert, we need a new washer." It's not that hard. By the way, I'm female myself. And life is so much easier when things are straight to the point.
whisperingeye13 0
39 and 68- I lurk on the comments all the time and never really comment because I never feel the need! However, Im so tired of the "my gender rules your gender drools" argument! Good lord both sides of the argument are unbearable! Men who claim we are the superior sex and that women are "frail" or "indecisive" are bigots unable to deal with change and women who think men are "sex driven violent morons" (I think I summed up your ideas nicely) are feminist extremists with an extreme superiority complex. Seriously, both sexes have strengths and weaknesses so let's just leave it at that. I'm tired of people who have to share their ignorance with the world. /end crazed rant
eeppiicc 8
Thank you 95. Women who think they are so much smarter then men annoy me. For example Albert Einstein: man, smart, doesn't pms and Is extremely smart. Now girl who said men are sex drove morons think of a women as smart as Albert Einstein.
Ex_Press 0
It's a pity, that you (you, specifically, not "you females") bring all that logic to bear, but still let your emotions run all over you. :
whisperingeye13 0
Nathan knows what I'm saying!
eeppiicc 8
I never said women weren't smart. I just get annoyed when someone pulls the "women are smarted card". I also never said men are smarter and I wouldn't be human of I didn't make mistakes. But I would like to know what I misspellings I have in my comment because I do try to read over them and make sure I was able to spell each word correctly. By me posting that first comment I was just trying to prove what she said wrong about men being sex drove morons so please don't take my comment the wrong way.
ZXDriver 0
Just remember, he still loves and needs you.
FckYoCOUCH 6
Can people take jokes these days?
Doomsday9616 2
I love your name
You_Need_Soap 6
I'm Rick James, bitch!
SkardeyKat 3
**** your couch!!
LiyIa_fml 8
Finally someone who agrees with my sense of humor!
Mister_Triangle 21
Humor does seem to be a lost art; however, it has probably been like this forever. Try making that joke a hundred years ago and no one would laugh either; washing machines didn't exist back then.
irokyoursox 6
It was a joke do you really think he married you to get a washing machine
2aw3som3 4
No, he needed someone to make him sandwiches too
JenDanielle917 13
My husband did.
daysleeper666 1
Haha, and he also needed someone to do his laundry