Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
She's lost control
Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML
MILs gonna MIL...
Today, I married the love of my life, which was meant to stay secret until we can afford a ceremony. I opened Facebook to see that my hubby’s mom made a post about it, called me her new daughter-in-law, and tagged me. All 3 things we specifically asked her not to do. FML
Today, my husband who asked for a divorce four days ago announced his engagement on Facebook. His new woman's profile picture is my engagement ring. FML
The show must go on!
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML
Today, I married the beautiful girl I’ve been in love with since we were both 6 years old. By married, I mean I performed the marriage ceremony as the vicar and watched her smile and kiss her arsehole boyfriend, now husband, right in front of me. FML
Vegas…
Today, I married my best friend in the whole world at a small romantic venue. By that I mean I married my actual best mate while completely hammered at a drive-through wedding chapel. My fiancée is gonna kill me when she finds out. FML
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
Top comments
CharliesCool2084 8
Congratulations!
shayshayshazam 14
He's clearly joking lol. Personally I find it funny!
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Comments (254)
Angelo_Davanzo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why were you on your phone?
McMike10 1
"Being driven". Not "driving".
Angelo_Davanzo 0
I know, but youd think that on your wedding day you would be thinking of other things then facebook.
Bobissmall 13
Welcome to the current generation I guess!
Zomg_Okay 27
In this day and age, nothing is official until it's on Facebook.
thatoneguy79 10
1) Taking a shot in the dark here, but I'm guess Mrs. Poor-Word-Choice was checking her Facebook page. She may have even been updating her relationship status to Married. Just a uneducated guess though.
alliewillie 22
Sorry but he doesn't sound very dreamy.
amandajlucas2015 2
Can u not go a few hours without checking ur Facebook constantly it's rediculous.. Especially on ur wedding day YDI
beclaurela 18
Who doesn't check their Facebook at least once a day? When there's nothing else to do in the damn car, why wouldn't you?
alychick 5
Ok so if this happens to you we will tell you what you just said asshole at. 75
THE_A_TEEN 28
amandajlucas2015, where exactly does it say OP checks her Facebook constantly? Next time, don't jump to conclusions, and use better grammar. Idiot...
lonkite101 14
I can't wait for the day when some hacker destroys facebook....
THE_A_TEEN 28
How about just go after Zuckerberg and his cronies and just end it at their headquarters?
bteundeadmidget 5
52 "Just a uneducated guess"was that a pun or just being dumb?
thatoneguy79 10
123) The young Korean boy I had type this out for me during his "break" from making sweaters in a sweat shop apparently overlooked the finer points of the English language, which he is trying to learn but so far has only master "pullover" and "get back to work!" I promise I will work with him to understand the difference between a pun and being dumb.
lilacgold 16
When I get married in 3 weeks, I'll take a moment to change my relationship status from "engaged" to "married". Nothing wrong with that. Well, unless you're trying to do that whilst you say your vows or when you sign the register, then maybe you have a problem...
shellz102 12
You know you're a red neck when...
ALpein 0
149, when what.
cocuscus 0
Why would he do that if he knows you are gonna see it?
Jonkbaby 23
dump his ass
emilyjgraham 34
I think this is quite humorous, he obviously said it like that for a laugh and some 'likes'. I'm just surprised, that on the way to their reception they were both on their phones, isn't that meant to be part where they're hugging and kissing and stuff? (I know it doesn't say they were together but I assume they wouldn't be split up just after the ceremony!) If I ever get married my phone is only coming out in an emergency, I'll change Facebook (if it's still around) when the day is over.
QRSpecV 0
Why is the obvious of this new husband being a complete douchebag being ignored to point out that it was basically wrong that she found out?
reisday 1
I would have asked him if he's ever heard of a sexless honey moon.
ChrisG93 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you should ditch your hitch? Just a thought.
The_Hitdude 12
Wow, this is twice in one day that somebody has suggested that an OP should dump their significant other. If they actually follow our advice and this keeps up, we're going to a lot of single, bitter old people in the future. Isn't that a wonderful thought?
llamafish 25
Maybe our suggestions are the reason the divorce rate is so high.
DontStopDreaming 2
Here's the reason that half the marriages these days end in divorce. It's called a joke, look it up.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
I feel like I have read another FML just like this. I think I'm going a little crazy LOL.
ClassyCommando 13
**** it, I'd probably dump him for not saying "the bitch and I". Rhyme is not an excuse for atrocious grammar.
NoOneLovesYou 13
How did you not know when you married him? Better go check to see if he was joking, because this could potentially prove how very wrong you were...
jackassiddy 8
noonelovesyou- Just because no one loves YOU doesn't mean OP's husband doesn't love her. God forbid he made a joke on Facebook and OP is unable to dislodge the stick up her ass.
melikesfml 11
Well 3, i challenge you to come up with a marriage status that rhymes and involves the word "hitched". Poop guy probably spent forever trying to make that status.
RedPillSucks 33
Still, calling his wife a bitch isn't a good way to start a marriage
Enslaved 38
Happiest day of my life Bridget is now officially my wife ***Who wants to be called a bitch? Especially on their wedding day by their husband. Yes, it probably was a joke but a rude one, at that!
Il_Maestro 6
I concur with 45. It was poetic, though somewhat pathetic, so give him some credit and, OP, don't sweat it.
Ddevon 4
Well he's apparently not the man of your dreams
lonkite101 14
He WAS until that statuS
22cute 17
I'm sure he meant "bitch" in the rapper style meaning of the word (i.e. an attractive woman). It was poorly executed & shocking, I'm sure - but not meant to be mean. Hope OP isn't mad on their wedding night
hellbilly205 17
Doesn't matter got hitched.
emilyjgraham 34
he probably should have used 'my' bitch, but still, I really wouldn't be offended, it's not like he meant it otherwise the ceremony wouldn't have happened and you wouldn't even know about the status because he would have hidden it from you!
CharliesCool2084 8
Congratulations!
SkyBirdy 5
Your profile picture is soo stupid.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Judge-y
carlovr435 10
Your one to talk, Ewok.
white16sox 19
70, that picture is of one of the best youtubers out there. I think she's in the top 5 most subscribed.
cyK0tek 0
Jenna Marbles..! Nuff said.
angela3825 1
Yea right, have u seen urs??
1x1y 12
It's Jenna Marbles!!!!
WeAreAHurricane 14
I knew she looked familiar :D thank you. I was having one of those annoying "I've seen her before, but where...?" moments.
koolkat27 13
70- shut up! Jenna Marbles is amazing!
Rhysviri 10
I wish you were the real Jenna Marbles... *w*
HALAL_fml 0
Really
Glassmaster 0
94 - most subscribed and best are not the same thing. "Best" is almost always a matter of opinion, most subscribed is an observable fact. And to be honest, she isn't even very funny.
DAHONKEY 0
And your the one to talk about someones picture.
SpottedZebra42 14
Does your username have anything to do with Charlie McDonnell?
bellygirl2000 0
JENNA MARBELS
CharliesCool2084 8
166 - I wish I was the real Jenna Marbles too.
crimsonclouds 19
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to report your comment
shayshayshazam 14
He's clearly joking lol. Personally I find it funny!
CaramelMacchiato 13
That could have been considered "funny" or "witty" if they were several years into their marriage, but they're newly weds. He shouldn't be saying that about his new wife, especially on the internet.
Bobissmall 13
What?! They could have been together for years anyway, all they did was sign a piece of paper. I think the best time to make a status like that is when the girl is too happy to care, not several years later when you probably hate each other! :P
CaramelMacchiato 13
^ Or early enough for her to end things before she becomes even more attached (and no, I'm not suggesting OP divorce her husband because of that status).
Bobissmall 13
Indeed, but what I think a lot of people need to realise is that FML's aren't all exactly "real". This may have happened, however it is likely OP wasn't offended at all, but later realized it was FML worthy. I think if her husband was usually very nice, and then as soon as they are married he changed, then that is definitely F OP's life.
biasedshooter 24
How about not taking things that personally he obviously thought it was a clever rhyme!
CaramelMacchiato 13
^ If it was a clever rhyme, OP obviously wouldn't have submitted it as an FML.
KiddNYC1O 22
6- That's exactly how I see it. If the guy really meant it he wouldn't post it as a status.
shayshayshazam 14
140- exactly. I feel like I know the type of guy that would post that. And he would never in a million years mean it!
shayshayshazam 14
119- you're too cynical. OP was probably like "sweet! Maybe this'll finally get me an FML published!"
emilyjgraham 34
119, has it not occurred to you that some people make the fmls because at the time it was a fml moment? I'm sure op laughed it off straight after but it sounded good for an fml so she wrote it?
bettyc4 26
Wow he's rude slap that dude, for better or worse seems like a curse... Don't it ;)
allard 14
Eminem lyrics don't count.
retardslo 0
You're the reason men hit women.
ohmandapants 17
^ your username suits you. What kind of ******* stupid comment is that?
bettyc4 26
Obvious Internet no one appreciates anything clever
eliwalks 0
Haha
kirstyannemiller 4
Whats wrong with you? My god, lighten upp
stiansr 8
You should probably give it a second thought before going on your honeymoon
stiansr 8
Seriously guys? If the man you have just agreed to share the rest of your life with goes out and call you a bitch for everyone too see, is'nt that the rigth time to sit down and think things through before going further with the marriage?
WiderWille 11
"for the rest of your life", oh boy you have no idea how long the average marriage holds
Amarve 4
82 ~ Some people stay married to their spouse their entire life.. Shocking isn't it?
joeystar95 4
Its a joke if he didnt like you he wouldnt have married you, CONGRATS though!
Rachiebabyx 1
And Facebook still doesn't have a dislike button, it's crucial in times like these.