Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with, "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. While I was being driven to our wedding reception, I checked my Facebook. My husband had just updated his status to "Me and the bitch just got hitched." FML
Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife…" We all laughed, and then my partner said, "Boy, you got THAT right." FML
Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
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Top comments
snizzlesnuzzle 0
it's yin and yang. not ying.
amerwin 3
Y'all are both losers.
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Comments (139)
Zmeilerr 22
So you're gonna become president then have several affairs?
catatonicsleep 17
no he's going to be president and have several affairs
Zmeilerr 22
So you're gonna become president then have several affairs?
klutzycleo 5
Awwwe OP I think that's really cute and romantic. Seriously. And and and ... especially considering you're not his mistress, you're gonna be his wife. So what's the problem?
justsayfuck 5
So tell me; are you, or are you nót having sexual relations with that husband-to-be?
Zmeilerr 22
take a stab at it
Hump_Zilla 0
****...
iGrenade 0
i did NOT have sex with that man
Sencilia 14
I don't get it.
Quest_ 13
Who doesn't!
funzcpl 0
you could have said " your the ding to my ling"
JpasDa1 2
calm down OP. He is just saying that you give superb blow jobs for a chubby jewish chick.
evybeth 0
atleast u know now not to marry this dude
sinnedrebel 0
just yang on his ying and it will be all good.