Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
ladybug110 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Shouldn't you be teaching her not to have sex while she's still a kid? That's a little irresponsible.
swick25 22
I would rather my child have protection then not. most kids have sex anyway and most have it unprotected. good for OP trying to make sure that their kid does not get pregnant or get a STD!!
Ari1337 15
if O.P thinks her kid is around that age, it is pretty responsible to give her access to protection.
thebestdancerz 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But condoms are also known to break right?
TunaFireStarter 16
#29, so? It's better to use a condom that has a 2-15% chance of failing than using nothing at all. (2% = perfect use, 15% = typical use.)
AnonymousAlpaca1 18
When I was 15, my mom put me on birth control and offered to buy me condoms every time I was in a relationship in case I ever ended up having sex. I'm nearly nineteen and still a virgin. Now at my high school graduation, there were three pregnant girls, two of whom were pregnant with their second child. Their parents didn't buy them protection. It could have been easily preventable if they had.
skittyskatbrat 19
to #46 Yep! Smart parents. Best protection out there is to teach the kids about it and make sure they know how to be safe. They quit being careless and lackadaisical about sex, because their parents have drilled into them that they should be responsible. And so...they tend to have sex later, not get pregnant very often, and rarely get STDs. Sounds like your parents knew what they were doing!!!
Raesin 21
#43 er, no. The chance a condom will break is about 2%. Other reasons for a condom breaking is age, sun or heat damage or exposure to oils and chemicals. So the condom won't break if you're not a moron, all the people on here that say their condom broke - maybe it wouldn't if you learned how to use one.
crystalnight 19
#113, not always. I was super paranoid about condoms breaking so we were really careful with them and even had um, "proper lubrication," yet two still broke. Luckily I'm on the pill also, so nothing happened.
tomwantssnow 14
Certain lubes actually cause condoms to be more likely to break. Also, the statistics aren't saying that there is a 2% chance of pregnancy every time a couple has sex using condoms, they are based off of year long studies. 2% of couples over an entire year of sex just using condoms will get pregnant, on average.
TheDrifter 24
Many younger sex enthusiasts also don't understand that condoms are not a one size fits all item. I used to swear I always got the defective ones until one day I realized "oh, my favorite ones are just a size too small, I need to find a new favorite condom". Problem solved.
WeskersSexslave 15
no. that's how you make them curious..
JonBall 17
Why is this an FML? You don't even have to worry about a teen pregnancy, you should be rejoicing.
weveallbeenthere 30
well that's a lot better than telling you she already has them. good idea though
iAlissa 34
Damn. Props to her for actually being able to make balloon animals out of those things.
davek 36
Umm, how old is she then?
parism143 28
this FML needs a follow-up!
skipper2009 18
She seems to have her priorities straight. Leave her alone! :)
EmmaMK 35
It's sounds like you have a good relationship. She might of felt a tiny bit embarrassed and wanted to make a bit of a joke about it. She may want to sort herself out when it comes to sex.
LadySalazara 6
Your daughter knew better.....lol
mzhaze 22
I rather have my daughter playing video games instead of risking the chance of being a teen mom. but cant blame you for at least trying to do the right thing, some kids are gonna do it no matter what
thebestdancerz 13
Well for one how old is she? And two, at least you know she won't be having sex anytime soon.