Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
parism143 28
Guess you''ve got nothing to worry about! :) Your daughter sounds awesome.
stretchedthin 20
um why didn't you talk to her instead?
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Comments (210)
Izabel_BVB 9
Why is that an FML? Obviously your daughter has her priorities straight, and is NOT worried about sex, be proud!
StompinOnCrayons 15
Maybe it's a strong hint ? Good try to nake sure she's protected though.
Nova16 8
Uhh, how is that a fml... Your daughter sounds amazing...
xSkittle 16
You sound like a good mom! And it seems like you have nothing to worry about.
vucui 21
No one has asked the real question here: What game was she playing?
Owlnight321 16
Basically me
speakersboom 19
You don't look like a balloon animal...
Drian91800 7
1. You're daughter sounds awesome 2. Depends how old she is 3 talk to her about (even as uncomfortable as it can be)
PierceTheSquidgy 8
You should be a proud parent (:
conqueror57 11
This doesn't sound like an FML. You have a kid that is more interested in staying a kid making balloon animals and playing video games. That's a good thing.
raj777 5
yayyy! u have the perfect daughter.