Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML
Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML
Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
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Top comments
nictransitglory 4
Intelligence is only skin deep.... So keep scrubbing
Kiki242 19
Really? Sounds like something snooki would do.
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Comments (137)
MindFreakazoid 10
Hmm, I wonder
GodPart2 20
Well, they do say those ultraviolet rays can have harmful effects, now we have proof! :-)
xlord 27
1- "hmm, I wonder"....if weight is relative to gravity can anyone truly be fat? But seriously, unless that was what you were thinking....we can't read minds.
HowAreYouToday 34
This is the lamest, most absolutely pointless 1st comment thread that I ever had to displeasure to read. It was so boring, that the rapist squirrels needed to comment about it.
bobnessness 2
*neither
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Rapist squirrels? I don't see any... You better not be talking about me. 20) *reads profile* You're a cat?
innavoiG 9
Why would you want to get rid of your tan in the first place...?
Jaxx66 21
I saw a show recently about people in Japan and china... Fair skin used to be a thing of beauty they said, but they now tan heavily because the rap culture is so amazing, then they call themselves 'Blasian'... It was a weird show..
_Oblivion_ 12
My god if regular squirrals weren't bad enough
FMLKitten 15
I'm the only kitten on these turfs >:-( !
_Oblivion_ 12
^ 5 month old kitten currently sleeping in my hamper.
ThePK 5
20- Well, weight is relative to mass and gravity, and since gravity on Earth is constant, one who is fat is one with a very large mass. :D I saw that this was Japan, and rationed that fair skin is what they aim for, so scrubbing away a tan seemed reasonable, but not the solution to the tan. Wear long sleeves or simply hibernate for awhile!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
83) Your profile seems awfully familiar... "Read everything I say in a squeaky voice..." "Read all my comments with a 'mew'..." "mauling" "clawing" Random gibberish... Is somekitty jocking my style?
TomPusslicker 21
Must have been really 'baked'.
Synistiel 14
45- I am very pale, you'd be surprised how many guys like pale girls and actually prefer them over tanned. Plus, tanning gets you wrinkles as you age...
phatdaddy62 23
Are you a complete idiot?
starman02 12
Maybe it was just "one of those days" ?
gc327072 31
Methinks that "one of those days" is everyday for OP.
kjklopu 1
Japan nuff said
annie_nk 23
Maybe only a half-wit since it was absent minded lol
rainbowflag 2
I can shit alphabet soup and come up with a more interesting fml than this
Demonfish 14
2- is this your way of telling us that you never have brain farts? If so, I envy you...
Blackmail111 9
115- I could eat alphabet soup and SHIT a more original comment than that.
nictransitglory 4
Intelligence is only skin deep.... So keep scrubbing
blcksocks 19
I won't be surprised if OP used bleach trying to scrub it off..
bertman21 5
I don't really understand this fml, but op is from Japan so I understand.
radke1017 5
Why you so stupid?!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
radkey1017, Y U NO USE CORRECT GRAMMAR WHEN U NO USING MEME!?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
*Memes?
Judahsh 8
Y u no use s?!
TomPusslicker 21
dont thumbs down judah, he was just bein funny...i hope. Made me laugh..
radke1017 5
There is no 'y' in my name.
radke1017 5
I didn't use correct grammar because it was supposed to be a joke.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Then you should have used the meme.
FMLKitten 15
Squeaky's right, it's not a meme if you use correct grammar... Y U NO DO MEME RIGHT?
EternalHatred 3
SMH! Natural Suntan doesn't come off.(: maybe you should get some friends? Or a life?
FMLKitten 15
I don't recall OP complaining about being friendless OR having no life. This FML is purely about OP's lack of intelligence!
EternalHatred 3
I was saying that because MAYBE the person doesn't have enough good, intelligent influences in their life? Next time read a little deeper.
FMLKitten 15
OP may not have many intelligent influences in her life, but that does NOT mean that she has no friends. And you never really attempted to point out why OP has no life.
EternalHatred 3
Honestly, I want to know why you care. I just commented, it's not like I was judging OP.
Shrike 24
Oh for ****'s sake, stop whining. You made a stupid comment and got called on it. Everyone does now and then. Especially me. Live with it, you big sissy.
EternalHatred 3
I didn't ask for your opinion..
FMLKitten 15
And we didn't ask for yours either!
SneakyCaveman 13
28, No, you didn't, but the funny thing about the commenting section is that everyone is free to state their opinion whether or not your asked for it. Oh and you can remove the "Free Randy Blythe" pic now, he has been out of jail for a while and is now waiting on a call to go to court over the incident.
EternalHatred 3
I know he's out. I just didn't want to change it. I like his face. I want it as my profile picture. Don't try to tell me when to change my picture, i'll change it when i want.
EternalHatred 3
If you didn't askfor my opinion, Then why are we still playing this silly little game? ;D
Skyblu10 10
Are you sure you aren't OP? You seem just as intellectually challenged.
Lucia_Malpense 14
Were you, by any chance, watching anime while doing this? Anime can be very distracting.
P374RD3D 9
How did anime enter your mind while reading this
Lucia_Malpense 14
OP wrote this from Japan.
Grimmerie 31
Naturally the Japanese do nothing but watch anime. It can be blamed for all life's problems.
Lucia_Malpense 14
Hey, you're the one who said it, not me. I'm half-Japanese. If the world's view of me was correct, I would do nothing but apologize, eat maple syrup, say eh, and watch anime.
Psych101 9
81- Also, play curling. And I don't understand why your original comment is getting thumbed down, once you explained how you thought of it I thought it was funny.
gingerwithsoul_fml 6
No, she was probably watching Jersey Shore... Everyone knows how educational that is...
KiddNYC1O 22
Anything can be distracting.
kikimonole 13
Why did get so many thumbs down? Anime is distracting! D:
Kiki242 19
Really? Sounds like something snooki would do.
reallytho3 11
What is a snooki?
SqueakyChipmunk 22
33) a horrible creature that prays on the weak. Kinda like a chupracabra, but fatter, sluttier and less intelligent.
Kiki242 19
You don't want to know.
Psych101 9
33- The closest known living specimen to a "Snooki" is an Oompa Loompa. They are the Snookis' more intelligent cousins.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
Snooki want mush mush! (South Park reference if you didn't know)
lyskiss 10
Creepiest South Park episode I've ever seen...
TheFuckerofShit 16
69, and yet once she appeared, I couldn't stop laughing like crazy.
skata 4
except she would never have a natural tan
lotrgeek 10
*smush smush.. Shhheeeessshhhh
blacksswan 10
& I thought I was the one was loosing it lately...... Keep it up.
EternalHatred 3
*losing
blacksswan 10
^ NO.
Sandsh8rk 36
Too used to spray tans, are you?
Sandsh8rk 36
Why is my comment being thumbed down? :/
LegraMR 1
Because she specifically said her tan is natural, and you have absolutely no reason to assume she ever uses spray tan. In fact if she wasn't used to seeing her skin tan, and subsequently tried to wash it off, one would assume she's probably never artificially tanned.
AKGirlinSD 20
I'm with 10. What if this person never gets a natural tan until recently? So, if the Original Poster is used to using spray tans and, finally, gets a natural tan, maybe this person is used to scratching it off?
Psych101 9
I disagree, I think 96 was correct and put forth a very good argument. If OP was absent-mindedly trying to rub it from his/her (sorry, I didn't see which one) skin, then it is likely that he/she is not used to being tan, whether naturally or by spray tan. So 10's assumption was incorrect, in my opinion.
gingerwithsoul_fml 6
You can't scrub a spray tan off...
sirpantselot 22
I must say my initial thought was also that OP was not used to a tan that they couldn't get rid of manually, thereby implying that they normally have fake tans...
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Just be glad you're not a redhead. My natural tan is something akin to a firey hell across my skin ^^
Archay 13
At least you skin color changes at all pale white for life unfortunately I don't burn or tan. Sob story over.
annie_nk 23
I come from a family of redheads. Even though my hair is brown, I have the skin of a ginger. I burn in the shade :P SPF 70 all the way.