Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML
Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
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Top comments
mozeltov 7
See, that's what I do to help me lose weight, eat all the unhealthy stuff, and leave the healthy stuff for me to eat later
cBlackout 13
Time to plot your revenge over a nice carrot.
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Comments (130)
Petunia888 13
So eat them. Smh; why do some people act like eating vegetables is the end of the world?
Mirorbo 27
Because people need variety in their diet. A proper diet consists of more than just vegetables, darling. Meats (unless you're vegetarian or vegan), Dairy, Fruits, Grains, Vegetables, and sweets in moderation is not a bad thing. Nothing but vegetables will deprive your body of the nutrients it needs that are only available from the other group.
Petunia888 13
Yes dear, I know that. Nowhere in my comment did I say that veggies are all you need to eat. Just that people make a big deal over eating them.
born_hustla 26
So how's that working so far?!
deviable 9
There are plenty of healthy things that taste good. Not everyone likes vegetables.
ChibiGirl5 0
Thank her lol
FU2causeUFML 2
That's not a good thing. You are going to need to eat more vegetables, but you shouldn't ONLY eat vegetables, because it's probably a good thing to eat eggs and meat for protein. It helps build muscle when you exercise, but only if you exercise.
zellybo15 0
how thoughtful of them
hatersgunnahat 0
What about the fruit?
panda_heroo 0
What's so bad about vegetables?I mean if you cook them right,they'll taste good.so I don't see any problem here.it's your fault for having all that junk food in the first place anyway.
kaykay20 0
Unless she has a fast metabolism won't she get fat eating all that bad food in one day? The way I see it it's ok to eat ice cream and such once in a while. Frozen yogurt is pretty good too. Just remember to eat in moderation and exercise. One drink item that you don't really need though is soda theirs many better tasty alternatives.
writergirl23 19
Um ... I don't think you're the one who'll get fat ...