Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator. FML
Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML
Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML
Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML
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Top comments
mozeltov 7
See, that's what I do to help me lose weight, eat all the unhealthy stuff, and leave the healthy stuff for me to eat later
cBlackout 13
Time to plot your revenge over a nice carrot.
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Comments (130)
bubblez1108 0
That's a nice friend
hiLife808 0
Think positively OP! If your roommate ate all the junk food and left only veggies then she'll be the one getting fat and then you'll be in the same boat. Or better yet, maybe you'll even lose weight and be able to shove it in her face. Karma's a bitch (:
rexreta 5
And she doesn't think that SHE will be the fat one?? My goodness!!!
baconboy_42 8
Well, that's considerate.
hurtandabused 7
Tell him ur going to die from mal nutrition. U need protein and iron to function properly even wid supplements.
taazer 12
I think your roommate is sweet IF she did it for you not becoming fat... Orelse well shes the fat one ;D
FollowMe 2
Sounds like a really cool roommate. He/she would do that for you? Epic!
FrankHotpants 31
So what's stopping you from going out and getting more food?
GVirdi 11
So.. Ur roommate don't mind getting fat :s?
pyschokitty 0
LMAO