Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie, my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely look like the Antichrist, and I'm a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
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Top comments
aeshleyrose 6
I see years of therapy in your future.
every1luvsboners 11
Tell him in that 15 minutes you were sodomized, forced to smoke crack, shoot up heroin, give a homeless guy a BJ, did 15 jumping jacks, got a pedicure and you're pregnant with the liquor store clerks baby.
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Comments (99)
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
Damn XD
n_epic_fail 14
He wanted to toughen you up a bit! On the bright side you didn't get shot... Or but raped.
duke56924903 11
Well... Not that she MENTIONED.
HahaHokayThen 10
More cruel fathers doing things for a laugh! What does this mean?
TPSerigne 9
What an asshole... He would have felt terrible if something would have happened to OP.
humorizer 14
In the Omen, doesn't the child end up killing everyone? If so, you know what to do.
aeshleyrose 6
I see years of therapy in your future.
JustinComments 3
At least he didn't try scaring you with something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre
AngryBeaver32 8
There's a line between funny and cruel and op's dad crossed it big time. Fyl indeed.
kelissa_fml 16
I wouldve given him the silent treatment. For a week at least...
JurassicHole 5
41- This isn't about the movie, but after seeing a "scary" movie and then being forced to walk in a dodgy part of town can focus your fears. Hell I'd be freaking out if I had to walk through downtown, regardless of watching a scary movie. You know the chances of actually getting raped or killed just scare me a lil bit, ya know? Anyways, OP I'm sorry you were put through that ordeal, hopefully you're better now.
jdjhdbdbebe 0
pussy
goodoldave 17
huh. good movie though.
Rddvl 11
Sounds like you have a pretty humorous dad.
Michael_92 20
See he actually dropped her off then went to the crack house to get some. Came back 15 min later went home. See the other side of the story you didn't know before. Ha
vcantone 1
Thats a great parent right there
borkchop1992 15
You gotta learn how to survive the ghetto, and then the next phase will be michael jackson's haunted mansion
ryanross 11
I don't think you can go from the ghetto to a dead millionaire's mansion. Levels, man.
ladyLALAA 29
Careful OP, your dad will be selling your bed for crack next..
ladyLALAA 29
Oops, that was meant to go on 5?
jerseyboy732 16
what a dick
Cat_Daniels 6
Get revenge by poking holes in all ur dads condoms!
fattylumptard 1
Who wears condoms?
haw008 14
Umm... what?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Apperantly not your dad, #12. Proof? He had you.
MrSassypants 34
18 not only does this number sound like your name, they may have used a condom by it may have failed. Maybe OP took 9's advice, traveled back in time and poked a hole in the condom which resulted in his own birth. Maybe OP took it too far but hey, what are you going to do about it? Back to the future style and change it a whole bunch of times?
The_Tool1 13
HAH, #12 was an accident.
fattylumptard 1
That will put some hair on your chest
fattylumptard 1
Exactly