Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents' house instead. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML
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Top comments
Cat_Daniels 6
OMG I would be like "I Guess mom isn't that impressed with u..."
djskidd 9
That sucks. Enjoy the vibrator though!
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Comments (154)
nonamericandolla 6
Omg! Like he doesn't watch ****
MissCutiee 0
When I get a car, i will drive to a sex shop. I am so getting a vibrator.
AlaskaKid95 7
Until then..
MrSassypants 34
I use my hand to...
horneyhic 15
Ur old enough for the real thing let me show u
BostonBruinsFan 8
65, ur getting kinky!!
dansco 25
Well its addressed to you and I guess it didn't say Vibrator on it so how would he know?
BostonBruinsFan 8
He opened it, idiot!!!
ThatLooksSticky 16
Don't call him an idiot, assh*le! No where in the post does it say, "my dad opened the package addressed to me." I agree with this post. I've ordered toys in the mail before, and they all come in discreetly marked packages. I don't see a problem with someone else accepting delivery.
MrHankie1999 0
At least you didn't do the dumber thing and use your phone as a vibrator.
every1luvsboners 11
Whatever happened to using household items? If you get a pickle and an extension cord you'll have the time of your life. First you cut one end off of the extension cord, put the two bare wires into the pickle, plug the cord into the receptacle and go at it. You'll have a glowing, vibrating sex machine that'll last longer than Ron Jeremy. I'm not going to say who taught me that but his/her username starts with "K" and rhymes with "pal."
quanzeman 5
does that actually work? ...
Calyx_fml 22
What's wrong with a cucumber?
every1luvsboners 11
Only if it's been in the freezer for 40-50 minutes.
GotParamore 2
Well just go relieve that stress then eh
briannajm 9
Haha should have got discreet shipping .
StarGurl86 0
Aww that sucks, shouldn't things like that come in a discrete package or something?
FalconCrunch 4
Next time, order a fleshlight for him so he won't feel left out. :)