Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML
Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML
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Top comments
krovek42 0
hahahaah oh god. i took my friend's out from her hiding spot under her bed, turned it on, and threw it at another friend of mine. She caught it, stared at it vibrating in her hands for a second, and then started screaming :D hahaha
mikeloyst 0
Agree with #5, I have had the akward "Masturbation is healthy" conversation a few times before, It was wierd with my Doctor, but even worse with my mom, and even more akward how my dad always leaves the house a couple of hours before i go out to the bars, he says: "Get it all out now so you dont make my mistake when you dont want to wear a dome" (I am his mistake)
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Comments (52)
greenman_fml 0
he probably used it before returning it. think about that the next time your lonely
ajeppsen 25
It's her dad
GonzoSam 13
I agree with#4 & #6 - at least you didn't get the typical parent "Masturbations healthy, even I do it too...." lecture you've probably read about on here.... LOL!
elfknight 0
Could be worse. At least it was your vibrator that he put back.
crackz12 10
As opposed to what?
isuckok 11
Somebody else's.
GoldFishPony 21
Condoms
pinkfrenchrose 5
O_O
mikeloyst 0
Agree with #5, I have had the akward "Masturbation is healthy" conversation a few times before, It was wierd with my Doctor, but even worse with my mom, and even more akward how my dad always leaves the house a couple of hours before i go out to the bars, he says: "Get it all out now so you dont make my mistake when you dont want to wear a dome" (I am his mistake)
daviekatz 0
#7 is bad enough to be a FML.
krovek42 0
hahahaah oh god. i took my friend's out from her hiding spot under her bed, turned it on, and threw it at another friend of mine. She caught it, stared at it vibrating in her hands for a second, and then started screaming :D hahaha
ifuckuprandomly 28
I sort of did the same with my girlfriends vibrator, only I threw it at her friend when she wouldn't shut up during a movie.
ur_life_sucks 0
at least he didn't care and just put it back. The worst thing that could happen is ur dad take it and use it in front of you.
Time2Remission 0
At least he didn't want to "talk" about it.
DarksideDoll 31
Agreed. Maybe he'll choose to "forget" about it. Never underestimate the power of denial.
saba_fml 0
go #7 :P