Today, I have a new guitar on its way. I forgot to make up a story, so now my wife won't be happy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally had enough to buy my dream guitar, made in 1965. I buckled it into the passenger seat because it unfortunately didn't come with the original case. Once home, I tripped over my own feet before reaching my front door and scratched it on the concrete. It wasn't in mint condition when I bought it, but now it looks like it had a bad relic job. FML
Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and her mother bought a hanger for my $2000 guitar as a birthday present. They wanted to surprise me by hanging it on the wall. They screwed it upside down, so before I came home it fell off and my guitar broke. FML
Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML
Today, I dropped my 6-month-old $3,500 guitar. Luckily, it had a one year warranty from the store so I drove back. It was shut down. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML
Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML
Today, I forgot to tune my guitar pre-performance. Surprising, because it was in tune when I frantically did it by ear backstage. Too bad two of the six strings snapped, smacking the drummer in the face. FML
Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML
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Top comments
Lydmyers 9
How about being honest with your wife. Don't lie to her about how much you're spending and on what and perhaps communicate? Situations like this piss me off.
RichardPencil 32
Unless "new guitar" is code for the baby you're having with your friend-with-benefits, then your troubles are relatively minor. Sing her a song -- that'll get you out of the doghouse! Since you couldn't work out this conundrum, you'd probably be better off going to YouTube and ripping off some unknown's work.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Unless "new guitar" is code for the baby you're having with your friend-with-benefits, then your troubles are relatively minor. Sing her a song -- that'll get you out of the doghouse! Since you couldn't work out this conundrum, you'd probably be better off going to YouTube and ripping off some unknown's work.
Marcella1016 32
To be fair, if he is having a baby with his friend-with-benefits, his problem will still be literally minor for at least 18 years... And depending on the chords he plays, the guitar might actually be a major problem.
RichardPencil 32
He ought to fret because his wife might break his neck. He'd better string together some excuses or he'll have to apply his pick-up lines to a wider audience.
Marcella1016 32
Sounds like he has a lot to lose if his attempts fall flat! He should hire a staff as backup and take notes.
RichardPencil 32
And with all of this punning, we have omitted the G-string!
cacheson 42
So is it a super expensive Martin or Gibson then??
Lydmyers 9
How about being honest with your wife. Don't lie to her about how much you're spending and on what and perhaps communicate? Situations like this piss me off.
TomeDr 25
What’s wrong with telling her the truth??
Jon Tessler 14
"honey, I bought a new Guitar"
Marcella1016 32
So like...make up a story now? How long does it take? Do you need to go through a special routine and arrange things at your special idea desk and sit down pensively when the light comes in through the curtains just right? 🛋☀️🌞🗒🖌📝🔎🧮🕵️♂️🤔🧐 Wait. Waaaaiiiiit..... Oh, ****! OH **** OH **** OHFUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!! 😱💡🌠🤯🤯🤯💦😵 Oh my God, BABE! You will not BELIEVE how I got this guitar!