megasniper240
Ronkonkoma, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
megasniper240 tells us more.
OP here, to clear it up I was on my futon in my living room and they happened to catch a glimpse through the window. Also, it was an old lady with her husband.
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Top comments
anythingmustbe 18
God is everywhere
cr3ativity 15
Jesus is coming!!! Oh wait, you're coming.
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Comments (420)
lifeisoutrages 7
Forget to close the blinds or do they have a new way to solicit their word?
vintage3113 6
So funny, and so terrifically worded! Haha
asu17 0
This is the funniest fml I've read in awhile.
fordman22 0
You should have gotten up right before u blew your load, opened the door right, blow your load out the door and yelled surprise!!!
buttercup1998 5
Lol thats funny af.....but ive had worse stuff happen ;p
Dracoboxer357 36
188- You've had worse things happen to you than having a stranger catch you masturbating? Like what, your parents catching you? ;) Prove it, and write an FML. If it's worse, it may get accepted. Edit: Aaaaaaand you're only 14. Think I'm going to go to my naughty, creeper corner now for a time-out. :p My apologies.
dmandan 4
That's sad....!
lilysmiles143 0
HAHAHAHA
dmandan 4
I am not a Jehovah's witness, but I never knew any of them to be annoying, I know they go knocking on doors ... But they are the kindest people I've ever met !! And I can't understand why they get hated on so much. They don't push their views on you, they explain their views from the bible and if you're not interested... They just go away !
lovepandorasaver 11
Thumbs up to this
charvisioku 22
Well my reason for disliking their faith is that my uncle was married to one, she abused the shit out of him and then when he left because he couldn't take it anymore she stopped him seeing his children and actually warped their minds so they hate him. She also drove her 16 year old daughter out because she didn't believe in god. Other Jehovahs saw this and deemed it perfectly acceptable. Then again, I would expect no less from people who would refuse to give a child a blood transplant even if s/he had a life-threatening illness.
laurellkawes 31
#192, thank you!!
laurellkawes 31
#339, I truly hope she wasn't a Jehovah's Witness because we don't believe in abuse of ANY kind and would do everything we could to help the abused. We would also disfellowship someone like your uncle's wife because her behavior is unacceptable and we never would alienate a child from a nonbelieving parent. The reasons why we don't believe in taking blood you can find at jw.org. Also, I'd contact the Watchtower Society through the site to tell about her behavior
briahw 10
So do you hate people of other religions too based off of one person you know that's a Jew/Hindu/Catholic/Atheist? How about hating other races? Or how about all men or women based off of one person? Your logic on this is called "discrimination."
DoomedGemini 38
Notice how she said they were fine with it. As in her religious group knew about what she did and didn't see it as wrong. So that's a lot different from just basing her thoughts off one person
bluelagoon24 19
Op: Oh God! Oh God! Jehovah's witness: ... Looks like we're not needed here.
9ghost4 4
Where's the they deserved it? Lol