Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, I came up with the idea of pranking my girlfriend by telling her that I knew she was cheating on me. She then apologized. FML
Today, I was walking around town with the girl I have loved for four years and have been 100% faithful to. A girl thought it would be funny to approach me and pretend she was the girl I was seeing, and that I was cheating on her. My girlfriend believed her and broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me using Tinder behind her back and now she wants to break up with me. I begged her to stay, but now we're kinda in between a friendship and a relationship. FML
Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her by another girl's name. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I think counts as cheating. We got into a fight about it, and she eventually broke up with me. Turns out, even by my own standards, I've cheated on her multiple times throughout our relationship. FML
Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zenn0 0
1. Explain what's up 2. Propose 3. ???? 4. Profit
mshafty 0
I don't get why were you sneaking out into the middle of night to plan a proposal??? Isn't that the type of thing you do during the day? Sounds shady, I say either you were a) cheating with prostitutes b) cheating with male prostitutes or c) you are a prostitute. All sound like valid reasons to break up with you!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (143)
Zenn0 0
1. Explain what's up 2. Propose 3. ???? 4. Profit
tomwillkickyouin 0
lol south park
chaos753159 4
really agree with #1
anonymous45610 0
awwe :(
bloodhoundbambam 0
impossible to fail!
mike680 0
I'd try to explain and show proof and hopes that she forgives you and gets back with you and then when she goes to kiss you you punch her in the ******* mouth and tell her bitch I'm breaking up with you and I'll take my proposal to someone who would appreciate me.
mike680 0
btw I was kidding about punching lol
melonkelly 0
yup
chih 0
dude... try again. you have one life, you should live it up. worst she can do is say no.
Thefog 0
first! and sucks
Snyphen3 0
ouch, and you didn't get a chance to tell her the truth?
roobear 2
Oversensitive, assumptive b*tch. Good thing - you would have regretted marrying her for the rest of your life.
xlostwithoutu 0
wow... "over assumptive" Wouldnt be one to talk.
xlostwithoutu 0
sorry that sounded mean it came out wrong
roobear 2
Uh... Girlfriend catches him sneaking out and doesn't give him a chance to explain, just breaks up with him. That is over assumptive to me. Am I being over assumptive by assuming she's oversensitive? Possibly, but my lifetime of empyrical evidence suggests the two tend to go hand in hand.
saaaammmmm 0
You must have not heard of the "you're one to be talking" corollary. It's was added in the newest version of FMyLife-logic, 2.0. Similarly under this new theorem a person may be assumed to be intolerant for being intolerant of intolerance.
roobear 2
Fortunately, I'm just posting on a message board (using all of the information given to me), and not making a life-changing decision.
nm22395 0
who ******* cares
xlostwithoutu 0
That isn't what I meant... I appologize... I do agree that the GF is over assumptive. Let's just drop it... I don't even remember why I typed it
mrtateyourmom 0
well ur a dumb bitch who problably never had a bf so ur vote doesnt count
xlostwithoutu 0
Um yes i've had a boyfriend you idiot . I have one now.
shadow33456 1
she thot u were ******* prositutes and was jelous because she just wanted ur dick in her mouth
alexandraa_fml 0
yeH she tottly thught u wer prostitutn brah, gon 2 munch crpt fer 10$ brah.
Tkim32 0
Nobody can read that.
ilmlsm 0
Uhmm just tell her that...
birdsfly01 0
Awe i'm sorry bud. If she already suspects you're cheating then maybe you shouldn't propose. Hope things work out for ya!! :D
Ontheotherhand 0
Well, think of it not as an "FML" but, you almost married a presumptious cow!!
fatchick27 0
omgawd!! ponyboy!! -- from the outsiders? -- good movie/book =)
ghillieman 0
Would you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn't trust you and doesn't forgive you?
stephan18 23
She had no intention of staying with him she just found her excuse.