Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lexiBRo 0
Well.. that sucks, esp. for his g/f, but can you really expect anything out of a guy you are just casually sleeping with???
fuckitfuckitfuck 0
saw that coming halfway through the first sentence. it was probably the fact that you referred to him as the guy you've been sleeping with, as opposed to your boyfriend. this isn't an FML. this is a "I can't believe it took you that long to figure it out."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
T_X_P 2
I'd be more sympathetic if you'd said "the guy I've been seeing" instead of "the guy I've been sleeping with". You gave it away for free and got a worthless guy in return. No surprise there. You reap what you sow. YDI
wmm85 0
Ok wtf people? What you're all too much of prudes to have casual sex while not in a relationship? and its not like the OP said she was in a relationship, that she thought she was in a relationship, in fact this FML looks like shes upset because she was helping this guy cheat on his GF without her knowing. Maybe she wouldn't have casual sex with him if he was in a relationship? hmm ever thought of that? I know I wouldn't have sex with a chick if she were goin out with someone, thats disrespectful.
wafflemonger 0
That sucks, but I'm having trouble calling it an FML because you didn't want an emotional commitment from him, you just wanted sex. Which you got. While he should have told you he was in a relationship, your life isn't ******, it's just gonna be awkward for a while.
pieface57 0
Maybe he refers to you as your girlfriend? ANd didn't know it was you with him? Not really an FML.... Sorry.
sexinmybed 0
he most likely meant you in his weak drunk mind. no worries. he was DRUNK
Mignun 0
You deserve it. That's what you get for being the other woman. *Shrugs*
judgeymcjudge 0
How stupid are half the commenters here?! The OP isn't pissed because she's jealous, or because she wanted a relationship, or because of any other commitment issue or lack thereof; she's pissed because she obviously thought they were just having fun and it was all innocent, and instead, it has placed her quite firmly in the "other woman" category without her knowledge, which is far from being innocent and makes a person feel like shit. If he was just screwing other chicks, she wouldn't care, but the fact that he has an actual *girlfriend* is the point, because while the idea of being a fuckbuddy is fine, the idea of being the "other woman" is ******* shithouse. That the OP considers this an FML is indicative of a conscience, thus making her a better person than a lot of the other dickheads trolling this site. Note to pseudo-self righteous morons: Casual sex does not make one a tramp/****/*****/etc. This notion of needing to be in a relationship, in love, or married before getting down isn't something you can force onto the world at large, or use to gauge the integrity of another human being simply because they do not fit your ideal criteria of what you deem to be 'appropriate'. STFU and GTFO. kthxbai.
Eltsc 0
This. So much.
kawaiisakura 12
So..you've talked to the OP and know all this for a fact? If not, you're assuming just like everybody else is. So take your own advice and "STFU and GTFO, kthxbai."
lusitania_fml 11
59: Yes, thank you for saying this. That was exactly as I took it. Many of the commenters are being quite hateful. She isn't a ****. I doubt she would have been with him had she known he was in a relationship.
blondie3689 1
eh...I don't think ur a ****...unless he's not the only guy you're been sleeping with for the past 3 weeks..
elmosminee 0
uhh...how do u know he wasnt still hungover and he ment you?? i mean really the chances of that are like really big....and the chances of it being somebody else are too but i mean there has to be some hope! and good for you for taking care of him!!
Shyman4ever 0
You're such a ****. Will you have sex with me?