Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone had pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor, and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, not only did I shit myself on my way to work, I left my house keys in the bathroom after I cleaned up. It's $90 to replace them. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, at work, an old lady dropped her lipstick into the ladies' room toilet, which is out of order and won't flush. I had to reach in and pull it out amid human waste. She thanked me, then uncapped it, and put some on her lips. FML
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Top comments
LadyClarik 8
At least it wasn't written in shit....
robc32ca 4
reach in and grab you can always wash your hands
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Comments (147)
smurfsarwales 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
sux for u anyway tht person is a retard make them get your keys :)
imustbeinsane 2
tell everyone that somebody ate then shat your keys
ThanksKarma 0
That's disgusting but nothing you can do. From now on I recommend keeping a hanger one of those Gopher grabby extension hands handy.
ninjaniki 0
I'm surprised that someone saw the keys, did a dump on them, and then wrote a personalized message for the owner of the keys to read for when they came back to retrieve them from the bowl.
wintamint101 7
well, shit does happen
KingGeorgeGal 12
Atleast they didn't flush or steal the keys .
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
18- I'd be suprised if no one did something like that. it's funny...
Bobissmall 13
It would be funnier if they'd flushed it and still done the shit.
tellithowitis 13
well isn't this is a crappy situation ?
blankaex 0
Don't have hands?
Andrew1122 0
sounds like a shitty situation to me
jeffreebitch 0
pine apple butter scotch rub your chest and touch your crotch. :D
Justforlolz 14
Please enlighten me on on exactly what the **** does that have to do with this FML?
blahadv 0
hahaha its funny because he's a guy..
south_butt24 0
fyl!
whybother8 0
shitted on em! put your number twos' in the air if you did it on em!
atthegates 0
funniest fml in a long time. amazing
nfc14 2
Shit happens
nfc14 2
shit happens
gmc_blossom 21
#47 I like that song!
lovepebbles 1
LOVE IT!!!
RayneStorm93 0
I'd find the chick with that same lipstick and punch her in the throat. She shouldn't be hard to find if she works with you;)
SirObvious 1
this girl if fuggin gross if she writes shit on walls using lipstick.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Except there is that pesky problem of of the lipstick not being personally made for an individual person so more than one woman can be wearing that shade.
forkphoe 0
I like the use of "punch in the throat"
crazytay 0
lmao funny.
theunwiseone 4
My eyes,my eyes!
LadyClarik 8
At least it wasn't written in shit....
HouseKeeping 0
The first time I read the FML, that's what I was expecting.
rawrlily 0
You are not funny.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
WTF?
Sacurason 0
...I don't understand your comment, but I love the Palin pancake head picture.
robc32ca 4
reach in and grab you can always wash your hands
coolp3rson 0
ya but its still gross. I wouldn't do it
ILUVMSC 5
so ud rather come back to find that?
coolp3rson 0
Ohh I thought u ment after someone pooped in it hah ok ignore my comment
missababgaga 19
Thats what she said...
Gemma_Mansonite 20
#125: I thought that as well at first aha
ApocaClips 5
but then you realize the lady probably flushed the keys then shat
hunterrrc 5
do you still get your keys out?
LexxyLiime 0
Did* Have fun thumbing me down.
EatnBeef 7
I had fun thumbing up actually.
lizzie1441 0
ur cool.
A100893 30
Well that's a.... nope. too easy. Sucks for you, but everyone poops. Get used to it in case you ever have children.