Today, the girl I'm secretly in love with, whom I was talking to on MSN, told me she'd "brb in 10, no wait 20, oh make that 30 min" depending on her boyfriend's stamina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, the girl I've been hitting on for months on MSN and that I'm about to meet told me "I know you are in love, and you know I'm not". Erm, no, I didn't know. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
Fast and Furious
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML
I'll just hang out I guess
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, we were fooling around and I was just about to orgasm when she looked at my clock and said, "I have to go, 'Lost' is on in 20 minutes." FML
Crushed
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Phone-blocked
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Top comments
lifepwns 0
the price you pay for hanging onto what you can't have.
will90 5
Stop being a pussy and get off the sideline.
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Comments (67)
laura_oddball 0
Half hour? ....Not much stamina AT ALL in my opinion...
Ritzelm24 5
man up and tell her u can last way longer....see who she picks then :)
diverscout14 0
Take out the competition
thegreat8 1
Reply, "same".
withyou_fml 1
awww im sorry
Rippin91 0
You are all immature. Shes taken, and a ****. Move on and do better for yourself, rather than dwell on the what if's....
sulafa 7
something tells me she's secretly in love with you too.....
BarakatsBurrito 7
I know what you mean, bro. Going through it right now
yukiokashi 12
She's slutty
HighasaCloud 46
I can't think of too many unique things to say for each FML and I want the 100 kick-ass comments badge so I thought I'd post them all in the far reaches of this website where hopefully nobody will really read through the comments and downvote me. Hazzah