Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while talking to the girl I have a crush on, I bragged how people tell me I have a voice for radio. She responded, "And the face for it too." FML
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML
Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML
Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML
Today, I was cheering up the girl I've been in love with for years. She was having one of those, "I'm ugly, no one wants to be with me" days. To cheer herself up, she said to me, "If you were a hot guy, you'd date me, right?" FML
Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
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Top comments
CookiexJar 17
Maybe you should.
spekledworf 18
Aw she sounds pretty shallow. Sorry OP
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Comments (89)
CookiexJar 17
Maybe you should.
thawny_fml 21
She's obviously shallow. You deserve better.
gc327072 31
OP's got a love that keeps them waiting.
sillyyanks 24
Get to it! More money, Less Hassle.
dinorider_fml 4
But you have to be careful, so you don't get hearing aids!
gc327072 31
I actually wear hearing aids and that's one of the funniest things ever.
FML_Elle 17
Lol 69 likes
MDTeddy 13
Op should try and see if he can change his appearance. Maybe he can start with his hair. Is it oddly shortened or have no style? Maybe he doesn't wear nice outfits and just random stuff? Idk what Op looks like. I was just trying to suggest things.
pastnastificatio 4
Maybe you should blind him.
wtfgrl128 3
Maybe a make over???
Pandacupcakelove 26
Or find somebody who likes you for who you are? -_-
agonydrum 7
Or possibly both, keep in mind not many people want to grab a diamond covered in excrement, metaphorically
TheMathMajor 26
It could just be a mater of confidence. Maybe a makeover isn't such a bad idea. OP, get some new clothes and a different hair style and maybe that will give you the self esteem boost you need. Even if she still isn't attracted to you after that, it's a good thing to do just for yourself every once in a while :)
PhishloverA 14
I was about to post the same thing #2 but OP should find somebody who likes him for him
spekledworf 18
Aw she sounds pretty shallow. Sorry OP
Anonymous123100 7
It's definitely shallow but one can't help but to be curious as to what his voice sounds like. Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but give me your number so I can hear you maybe?
crazytrain10110 1
I have the opposite problem
mario2012 18
Gee that's nice. You want a cookie?
thefella 10
So you have a phone sex line and want to give it up for love? Good call.
thgiL 9
46- naw women want to date him until they hear his terribly stupid voice.
NanillaVipples 2
Thanks for clearing that up, 60...
thew_fml 14
if you can hold her interest for an hour, you can close the deal. dont push, don't rush, just be clear and persistent
drewcat21 0
Not true. He could hold conversation's for days with her and once she "friend zoned" him there is about a 99.9% chance he will never get out.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Doesn't seem like a 'friend' to me. She's way too rude. I'd say the OP should get a new crush that thinks he's cute the way he is.
TheMathMajor 26
Maybe this is because I'm a woman, but I really don't understand the friend zone thing. I'm in a relationship right now, but if it ever ended, I wouldn't stick my nose up to men I'm already friends with. Even if I wasn't attracted to them in that way I might give it a chance if the guy is interested. I'm tired of this stereotype that women only go for a certain type of guy and anyone else that they are friends with aren't "dating material" and somehow victimized because the woman doesn't want to date them. I have some advice to men who think they have been "friend zoned." Stay friends and move your attention to a different woman who is attracted to you, sorry that women can choose who they want to date -.-
Drigr 9
True friendzoning is actually when the girl tells you she thinks you are an amazing person andd everything she wants in a guy, but she just wants you as a friend.
walmartpaysme 15
Maybe she wasn't trying to be rude. In fact, maybe she was saying that OP's voice is just so sexy that there is no way his(or possibly her) looks could ever compete?
windfuelsfire 10
Some girls love men with sexy voices. You got something going for you op, just wait till they come to you :)
bayli 12
Now, when you say 'come'...
Szaszaspasz 26
I was helping a customer over the phone. He had never met me, but he asked me out for coffee just because my voice sounded "sexy" to him. I can't be sure if he would have been disappointed if he met me for real, but i took it as a compliment. Your crush talked with you for an hour...I think she likes more than your voice.
m_2_teh_c 6
I agree
OldMemoriesFade 8
Don't worry, you'll find a guy who will think you're very attractive in person, not just over the phone.
eggmarie 25
Except OP is interested in girls.
walmartpaysme 15
Reading comprehension, people. READING COMPREHENSION.
laden_swallow09 35
Sounds like NewMemoriesFade quickly for you, too.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
She sounds like a shallow b*tch
perdix 31
You should! With all the money you earn, you can buy all the donuts, sweatpants, cat food and heavy-duty couches you want.
larouche362 10
Hahaha that made my day.