Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted, "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!" I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I didn't think I'm fat. FML
Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML
Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML
Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML
Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML
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Top comments
vbmg152 19
Does anyone teach their kids manners anymore? I mean just the basics, I know things are different then when I was a kid but that's ridiculous! Don't let it get to you!
Nimmrodel 11
kids can be cruel, knock over sand castle later that will teach her.
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Comments (243)
_streets_ 19
Should of bitch slapped the kid.
carinamiller95 0
ur an ass
_streets_ 19
It's called sarcasm. Try it sometime.
silverstream20 20
oh really? I beg to differ and more importantly sarcasm = humor and that's what FML is about HUMOR so before you start telling us it doesn't work why not try it it could work for you
JacindasaurXD 0
I Thought It Was Funny:)
leearm104 4
it does if you're not stupid.
seth96 0
hot pic
_streets_ 19
It doesn't really work online? Almost everybody I see commenting on FML is usually being sarcastic.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Should have*, not should of.
theRovingMage 0
So, if it's sarcasm, you feel that the child was right to call the OP fat? Sarcasm means saying the OPPOSITE if what you mean. E.G.: Upon slogging through sleet and hail, you remark with a particular tone to your voice, "What a absolutely gorgeous day for a hike!" I'm going to become the Authoritarian Grammarian. I'm sick of people saying things like, "You're an idiot; what are you smoking?" (I get upset) "Oh, come on, that was sarcasm! You're oversensitive!"
BIGbadBRIZZLE 0
you deserve it for being huge. go cut some bacon off your back
lerouxmaster 7
I'll never eat bacon again.
andrealovee 0
that's rude people dont deserve that even if they are fat!
chrisauh 4
yeah they do deserve it
MelissaMae 0
your an asshole.
Oniat 2
If what a little kid says bothers you, don't wear a bakini? There's two-pieces that look great but still cover up. Full body suits are bleh. If you were truly confident in yourself, you would've told the kid to **** off and this wouldn't be an fml. Shape up or dress appropriately. YDI
lizamaphone 6
this. I couldn't agree more.
misfitSuperStar 0
agreed. bikinis should only be worn by in shape girls.
ManAmongMen 0
the word is bikini and u know nothing. the fact of the matter in reality is that kids don't get taught respect and it's a direct reflection of their parents or lack there of.
Tuesdays76 0
You learn by mistakes. It is a little girl, not a teenager. She is still learning respect.
eponina 0
she was tanning.....
jess6blondie9 3
Maybe she meant huge boobs? You never know;)
j2013t 0
true
seth96 0
but if that's what she ment then y b emmeressed? and it's not like it's all about the boobs. like the pic
SportsAthlete01 0
Hey 42 your pretty cute. ;)
fmlbtard 0
damm jess u taken??
MonkeySpeaks 4
Would have been a good opportunity to teach a young child about respecting yourself and loving yourself...
sarahbear430 0
you should respect yourself by having enough self-control not to become a lard-ass.
Tuesdays76 0
can I get an Amen? AMEN and ALLELUIA!!!
sarahbear430 0
AMEN! :)
Tuesdays76 0
Amen to #70 btw, not 38.
Helloiloveyou199_fml 0
FYL.
vegan_muffin 5
Similar to leggings, bikinis are a privilege, not a right.
v1kt4r 13
Ahahaha you've made my day, i just tweeted ur comment so all my friends can have a laugh too lol
sarahbear430 0
lol. love this!
Tuesdays76 0
And Muscle Tee's and Under Armor for guys.
Tuesdays76 0
And for guys, Muscle Tee's and Under Armor.
ImaginaryFoe 1
"No, I'm only embarassed to be seen with you. Now get the **** out of my sun, you little twat." Problem solved. YDI for letting a child pwn you.
RainbowHeadache 2
Cover that kid in sand like a cat does it's turds. Problem solved.
BabyBlaze 0
That's hilarious.
Dez31396 0
I don't care if she us a child I'd back hand ger
Tuesdays76 0
Or maybe you should hit her in the face with a shovel so she will look like you. don't hit some child you don't know for telling the truth. you would probably get your ass kicked or charged for assault and child abuse and you would deserve it.