Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone caused over $400 worth of damage by breaking into my car, just to steal $8 worth of beer. FML
Today, some dumbass broke one of my car's windows to steal the pack of disinfecting wipes I just bought a few hours ago. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML
Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My steering wheel. FML
Today, I took my car to a car wash, and when I got it back, one of the rearview mirrors was missing. Someone knocked it off and the management refuses to cooperate on who was the thief. FML
Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car's ashtray. FML
Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I would love to be the bank teller taking the bill when he tries to cash it. "No, sir, we don't cash Monopoly money either."
anythingmustbe 18
Too bad that money wasn't real. The idiot could have used it to by some brains.
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Comments (100)
jdeezy01 13
Apparently, it wasn't that obvious.
thatADHDdude 21
Well at least he didn't steal anything expensive!
ViviMage 40
Better take down the Garmin/GPS off the windshield too! People will break into cars for that on the black market. An in some states, rearview mirror items that obstruct the view are illegal.
simmyiphone 18
My car was broken into one night and nothing visible was in it. They may have seen the plug marks from where the GPS mount sticks to the windscreen. They stole my GPS, an old iPod cord and a toolkit.
amDes 11
Back in the day at my college rez parking lot, every car with the circle mark on the windshield was broken in to and had their GPS stolen. I now wipe it off everytime I put my GPS away.
Soundslikeothers 15
The suspect is described as white male mid to late 40's bald waring a all gray jumpsuit and white shoes. Uses air quotes and his pinky frequently to express his emotions.
Welshite 40
I've heard he's got one fat bastard as a henchman.
tigerisabelle 31
News anchor the day after: "Diane, I say, there's been an attempt to cash a $1,000,000 bill on the Main Street store." "Well, Tom, that doesn't surprise me. Now, let's cut to Tricia Takanawa, who is talking about the stupidity of the human race." "Well, Diane, this is almost as bad as the time somebody tried to cash in Monopoly money. The human race is certainly getting stupider." "Thanks for that insight."
PenguinBitch 44
"Now Ollie with the weather. Ollie?" "IT'S GONNA RAIN!!" "Thanks Ollie"
isuckok 11
no.no.no. *IT GON RAIIN
PIGaming 21
Its FML posts like this where I wonder: "What the actual ****?!"
perdix 31
Ask the thief to give you $500 for the damage -- he'll still be $999,500 up! People who rely on smash-and-grabs for income are usually on the bottom of the intelligence scale.
coolboy675 16
He just wanted to be a millionaire so freaking bad. Can you blame him?
yungjohns 10
Well that must be one stupid person
perdix 31
YDI for showing off your wealth! I keep all of my $1,000,000 bills in a very secure bank and I keep a middle-class profile to keep people from getting jealous. Our secret, right? ;)