Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML
Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML
Oddly specific thief
Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My steering wheel. FML
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
Stop! Thief!
Today, during my work shift, my car got stolen and I had to walk home on the rain. While I was walking home, my stolen car drove by. FML
Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML
Foolproof plan
Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML
Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML
Messy
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Top comments
doctorwhogirl 0
that's a silly way of getting up- I would suggest an alarm clock
THE_A_TEEN 28
That's not your car getting stolen. It's a Transformer rolling out to beacon the others. You are now dragged into an inter-galactic war, my friend.
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Comments (151)
clarissasyima 7
I'm so sorry OP, but don't worry whoever stole your car will get their karma.
EG14_fml 8
*rereading name* unhappymothersday? Sounds like a mothers day youll never forget
superswagbro 7
Some people deserve to be shot.
clarissasyima 7
I guess the people thumbing me down got their karma..
EG14_fml 8
Why the fudge did my comment get added onto your comment as a reply? I was commentin the fml
eeppiicc 8
What if I don't believe in karma? What do I get, I hope it's a new car.
KiddNYC1O 22
Karma will get them, you mean?
fortunelady 17
I thumbed that comment down as an existential experiment. *awaits karma*
clarissasyima 7
I say karma will get them, everyone has their own way of saying things.
efemel94 7
Car...ma. CHORTLE CHORTLE.
ImaginaryFoe 1
A. That's not what karma means nor how it works (if you believe in it at all). B. What is with everyone's concern over getting thumbed down lately? Everything you say isn't going to be met with approval by everyone who reads it. No need to attribute it to some sort of cosmic retribution. It's not that serious.
Awsumuzzie 12
63, in case you don't think - which by the looks of it, you don't - EVERY religion has it's own interpretation of Karma. CRAYZAY, AH NO. Not only that, but if that's how someone believes Karma works, then that's how it works for them. What they believe won't affect anyones life but their own.
UrbanOutfitter 2
That's awful. Hope everything worked out in the ed
doctorwhogirl 0
I know karma she lives on my block, had three babies with three different guys thn got busted for throwing a brick through a hospital window. tht bicth is crazy.
Awsumuzzie 12
74, Ironic that her name is Karma ;) Learn from her. Unless you're mocking my capitalization, then you should ask why I did it. In my religion, it has a great meaning behind it (which I won't explain it unless someone asks). Because I give the act respect (it comes from God) I capitalize it. It's my own choice, though.
italiancows 8
Wakes up, looks out window, sees car being stolen, Godbless America.
itsame0987 18
Okay 75, I will ask. What is the meaning of karma in your religion?
BandWagonGuy 8
I guess the carjacker was... -gets ridiculous haircut- Gone in sixty seconds.
Awsumuzzie 12
In my religion it works in two different ways. One of being that if something bad happens to you, don't seek out revenge since God will take your toll at His own time. Which also teaches patience and to not hate and let things happen. Another way is what everyone thinks, you do bad now, something bad will happen now. As opposed to Hinduism, where it happens in the afterlife. /End rant
gfoxx17iv 0
Why does everyone say OP? It sounds so stupid and it's a given that you're talking to the person who posted the FML unless you specify otherwise
Awsumuzzie 12
By afterlife I meant reincarnation. I wasn't posting attention. I'm surprised I haven't gotten attacked yet.
Beeftinkle 13
Today i woke up to the sound of someone waking up to the sound of their car being stolen. FML
StopDropNRoll 11
Two wrongs don't make a right. And if karma does get him say his car was stolen for example. It dont do jack for you, your still out a car.
ImaginaryFoe 1
So, #69, if I believe karma will somehow get you back for being rude it will just happen? It must've already kicked in by making you unable to think! Magic. Admittedly, I over-simplified and I'm certainly not out to change anyone's world view. But my personal belief system compels me to state my opinion whenever I see someone suggesting that the universe will seek vengeance on those who commit the grave sin of down-voting his/her comment.
untamed112 0
Your an idiot
clarissasyima 7
147- who's an idiot?
doctorwhogirl 0
that's a silly way of getting up- I would suggest an alarm clock
fortunelady 17
I'd wake up a helluva lot quicker to a car alarm than my phone alarm. You can't 'snooze' someone driving away in your car!
PrimeEvilTahir 24
It'll automatically snooze for you once it far away not to be heard...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Set Bieber as your alarm and put it across the room. Guaranteed to wake you up, bolting to turn it off.
alexup24 13
48- It's one use only though, you'd probably kill it after the first night.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Sounds like a great marketing strategy to me!
Inheritance 10
You snooze you lose :) Lame pun yes.
FYLorYDIohno 12
This is ironic since I just had a dream of the same thing.
Soloman212 28
I hate to get into an argument of semantics, but you have no clue at all what irony is, do you?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Soloman, I think it's you that isn't quite sure of the definition of "irony".
luckyd880 12
No 48. No. You will get the song stuck in your head before you have the time to get there. And then you will be tortured all day long!! "Baby, baby, baby, Ohhh" Bet you Sang that while you read it huh....so it begins....
Soloman212 28
It might be "strange" or "a coincidence", but it's not ironic...
chemchic 7
Unbelievable what people think should be theirs. Sorry OP.
olpally 33
Grand theft auto: fml version... It could have been worse op. You could have been getting car-jacked and stabbed with a knife like the real gta...
ghostlilac 25
I thought it said "cat" at first, which would have been sadder. :(
SqueakyChipmunk 22
It wasn't a car, and it wasn't being stolen. It was Bumblebee, and he was going to save the world from the Decepticons
mxnuelh 2
It's a old car or new ?
brookenfrench 0
Not sure that matters. Even if my car was old I wouldn't want to have it stolen..?
kirrra 11
why would that even matter, its still op's car.
dcg1375 7
Does that really even matter?
KeyboardWarrior 10
Say it a couple more times for the folks at home, not sure they get it yet!
kirrra 11
no need to be smart about it 38, we clearly all posted at around the same time and hadn't seen the others comments. not sure why you even bothered.
ConesOfDeath 0
Here is why it matters: New has full coverage and OP gets another car through insurance. If its an old car then its probably just liability, meaning OP is ******.
CaramelMacchiato 13
42 - You all basically commented the same thing three times in a row, that's why it's bothersome. But it's all good since you cleared it up, stating that you didn't know! :)
lucy_lue 9
Some newer cars have GPS tracking. My grandma's car was stolen and the police located it through that.
KeyboardWarrior 10
42, No need to get all upset about it, it was a joke. Lighten up!
capper44 18
Duh some old cars have it as well... Like my civic 2005 has it 'as i updated its tech part' now i can see every second on my iPhone that where is my car and moving or not or what :p awesome :)
luckyd880 12
Does anyone else feel awkward talking to 59's chest?
blondie1208 17
Good morning!
bwalb734 3
Your sexy
monkeymofo 3
I would like that very much, thank you.
ebdeadaccount 11
I would love to delete this comment but I can't, all I can do is edit it so............ Ya..........*sleeps*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Top 'o the mornin' to ya!
matt98_fml 13
Wow that's ******* distgusting... Hope you get your car back.
boofgall 16
Disgusting?
BandWagonGuy 8
Whoa, he might be Egon... You know, that guy in the movie, Hitch, starring Will Smith.
matt98_fml 13
Yeah I meant disgusting. Ahaha my bad :3
ebonyirony 29
Why is it disgusting? It's certainly despicable.
matt98_fml 13
Well when I said disgusting, I meant despicable, or a mean thing to do.
unknown_user5566 27
I believe he's referring to the fact that someone stealing another person's belongings or property is condemnable, pathetic, not right, etc.
THE_A_TEEN 28
That's not your car getting stolen. It's a Transformer rolling out to beacon the others. You are now dragged into an inter-galactic war, my friend.
reddudeover 2
I don't think the transformers are from another galaxy. I think it's just interstellar. IDK either way, I'm a decepticon! >:D
KeyboardWarrior 10
You got your ass kicked countless times by Optimus and his crew, and you're proud to be a decepticon? That's like saying you're proud to be a part of Loki's army, after they all got their asses kicked by the Avengers. Doesn't look to good on a resume my friend. :(
reddudeover 2
You do know they aren't real right? I just think they look more badass and have cooler names. (MEGATRON, STARSCREAM, etc) I'm not evil geeze. *shifty eyes
KeyboardWarrior 10
Too* good on a resume, oops. Now that that's cleared up, the deceptions are all around you. Don't you see those big transformers connected to electric wires? Those are decepticons all right. Just look at them, plotting. All the Autobots are sports cars. And Optimus Prime? How is that not a cool name? Optimus. Prime. OPTIMUS PRIME. Game, set and match.
reddudeover 2
Yeah they're all sports cars, things middle-aged men buy to feel young again. Booooring. There are some cool autobot names, but on average the decepticon ones are better even the word decepticon is cooler than "auto"-bots they sound like Japanese sex toys. Lol.
instnt1nfction 17
We have a thread battle.....I'll get the popcorn.
mvems 13
Does he get to hang out with Megan Fox?
Ririshi 0
Today, I got up to the sound of Optims Prime walking into my street and crushing my car under his foot. FML
Vash_41288 10
I once woke up to my house on fire and fire truck sirens so it could be worse. Hope your insurance covers or at least police find it asap
Eiregal2 10
seriously? if so then I hope you and yours are well and safe now!
Vash_41288 10
Yea it was a couple years ago but now when ever I hear anything at night I HAVE to check, but at least my dog goes with me lol. Thanks for asking though.
plasticsmile42 2
Wow. Im so sorry OP. :/ FYL.
peachesncreem 21
I hope you have car insurance that covers theft :/