areyouserial
United States
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
moopymoplady
Canada
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Anonymous
Woodbridge, United States
Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML
evil Santa
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Solon, United States
Tis the season…
Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML
Yougotmail
The Brian Harvey
Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML
FlatFoot
New York, United States
Move, bitch! Get out the way!
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Anonymous
Toronto, Canada
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a Segway. He still got away. FML
Anonymous
Monroe, United States
Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML
Slippin'
Steele, United States
Steady as she goes
Today, I tried to walk on the sidewalk. Actually, it was so slippery that I had to shimmy across it. Then I shimmied too quickly and fell down. Now everything hurts. Maybe next time I should bring a sled. FML
Anonymous
Poole, United Kingdom
Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML
Top comments
Goddess_Rummy 13
Is it because you have been naughty this year?
boofgall 16
A Segway? Times sure have changed.
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Comments (108)
Goddess_Rummy 13
Is it because you have been naughty this year?
Tommananaze6T9 4
I guess he got tired of the sleigh after all these years
bmwguy01 8
better than a lump of coal?
bizarre_ftw 22
How the hell is that better than a lump of coal?! I'll take soot over pain any day
sirbrainiac 2
At least your foot didn't get run over by a reindeer.
The_Troller 14
Santa probably weighs more than a reindeer... At least if he needs a Segway to get around.
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
Hmmmmm Santa seems to be a naughty boy this year
LolFMLnot 10
That was his gift for you this year -.-
Jdimp 1
all I for Christmas is a broken foot, a broken foot, a broken foot
Lanceeden 12
Yeah! All he for christmas is a broken foot, a broken foot, a broken foot.
EvilPotato 15
Why would anyone want a broken foot for Christmas?
nixter5 18
Hey, he writes better than Rebecca Black.
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Op: OW! WTH!! Santa: Bitch better believe now.
assduffmovie 0
either you have 3 legs or you're a retard
MormonPornstar 7
It was a weeping and a moaning and a gnashing if teeth... believe! Believe!
boofgall 16
A Segway? Times sure have changed.
slick5880 22
This could be part of the next big hit song.
Teehee2 0
I can already smell it.
graham11 14
Damn! Forget a sleigh! Santa has a Segway!!
Happiness2Joy 3
Segways are the ******* shit, screw the sleigh.
jwade11 12
Suuuurrrrrreee
AlexanderSilver 0
69-the **** are you smoking?
I_lost_the_game 25
Great. Now I have to find 69's comment.
instnt1nfction 17
Spike the reindeer's food
TherealMort 0
Idk man blitzer is ******* crazy when hes sober. I don't want to imagine win he's drunk. Oh god it would be another holocaust
brooks10101 1
He just wanted to pay you back for the cheep store cookies u left out last year they wear dry and had 2 manny nuts santas all about moist and well balanced cookies!
2ndSucks 15
I don't even know where to start correcting you.
tymarie2012 31
*cheap *you *were *too *many
bizarre_ftw 22
Cheap you were, too many.....
EvilPotato 15
See kids, this is why you don't do drugs.
Naitsi 19
lol
Miss_Michaela 10
The recession hit all of us hard. No doubt he couldn't afford Reindeer anymore. The insurance must have been huge.
YayFlameWarz 9
Who needs a sleigh and reindeers when you have a segway.
zukinihudini 0
I believe the proper term would be "reindeer"
YayFlameWarz 9
Would you care to guess how many ***** I give? I'll give you a hint; It's less than 1 and ends with zero.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Well he does have to go fast. Do you realize how long ots going to take him to deliver presents to the world on a Segway?
DocBastard 40
On Donner and Blitzen! How sad. "On Segway!" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
VGEHTS 5
Docbastard, where is the coke-bottle?
iKickKixy 3
At least its just your foot Op, my Grandma got run over by a reindeer coming to our house on Christmas Eve.
keepcaImcarryon 0
They can say theres no such thing as Santa, but as for you and Grandma, you believe.