Today, I decided to be healthy and go for a run. I broke my ankle. FML

The Brian Harvey

Today, I managed to run over my own foot with my own car. FML

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

Today, my third day training for a half marathon, I tripped and broke both of my ankles and one wrist. FML

Today, I fell down the stairs, breaking my foot and tendons. It was the first time I had ever broken anything, and the doctor said that it's the most complicated break he'd ever seen. It's too complicated to operate. Now I'm stuck in a wheelchair for god knows how long. FML

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

Fit as a fiddle

Today, I went to sit on a desk chair, which promptly rolled out from under me. This made me fall on my own foot, literally shattering two bones. I just bought a 9-month gym membership and can't use it because I wanted to sit down. FML

Shelved plans

Today, after spending two hard months losing 20 pounds of my 80 pound goal, I was actually excited to exercise. After I was done exercising, I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. FML

Can I get a raincheck?

Today, I fell down my backyard steps at my own housewarming party, ended up breaking my ankle, and am now non-weight bearing for 10 weeks. I'm supposed to start a new job tomorrow, where I'm always on my feet. FML